Need to express some emotions to other future bonus parents, and maybe get some advice?
Background: My fiance has a soon to be 18 y/o daughter (bday is next week) and there has been a strain on the relationship for a bit. It started after COVID started and we haven't seen her since Christmas 2019. Which mind you is 2 years before we got engaged. We were all Facetiming or texting with each other before that. There has been barely any communication since and he has made attempts. He has sent messages and when his father was in the hospital he tried calling and had an issue with her answering. She told us she didn't want to come out for the services after his father passed (She lives in another state), which I am hoping is because some people just don't like those kinds of things. It just felt weird because the little to no contact. So he still sends an occasional message, but it's either radio silence or just a quick response back, no real conversation. He's had to talk with her mom on the phone occasionally and will ask if she's there so he can say hi, and it's coincidence that she isn't.
All that to say, he wants to ask her to be in the wedding but doesn't know how to ask because how communication has been so strained. And he has admitted he's afraid she will say no. This morning he's been acting kind of weird, distant, and barely spoke to me before work. Which is very unlike him because we have an open communication relationship where we can express things to each other, even if the source of the bad feelings is the other person. I'm not assuming, but I think it has something to do with this situation because according to FB memories, 3 years ago (again before getting engaged) we were on a vacation together, which also included her mother!
I don't know how to handle this anymore. My heart hurts for him because I see how much it hurts him. Originally there were concerns about being late in asking because the wedding is in October, but that something I can handle and take care of. This, I can't.
