Fiancé broke up with me

I think you are taking it with a great attitude. I'm sorry for everything that you're going through.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Take some time for yourself. Break ups are really hard especially when it involves someone you were planning to marry. In due time, you will know what's going on.

A couple things that may help you understand and/or get through this:

-In reading your post you stated that he said that he was going to work on the person "you" needed him to be. A key thing to remember in relationships is you cant ever expect someone to change for you. That does not go to say that you are in the wrong, but maybe he just isn't the right guy for you. I just spoke with a guy friend about this same issue. He is currently engaged and there are issues in the relationship. Same reasons: She wants him to change for her and expects him to cater to her needs. By doing so, he gave up on many of his freedoms and hobbies, which has resulted in him being miserable. They talk, they get sad together, they apologize and say they will work on it, and then it goes right back to the main problem, unresolved, and worse because there is resentment.

-If he is not willing to work on relationship issues, then why ask him to stay? I always say, "a few years is a lot less than a whole lifetime". If these issues aren't getting resolved or showing progress TOWARDS getting resolved, what makes you think that marriage and a child (possibly) in the future is going to fix that? It won't and it will just make things more messy. Is it sad? Absolutely. Do you still care for each other- most definitely. Does that mean there is something still there worth saving? Not quite. Maybe there is just someone out there more compatible for you.

-I am also sorry about the engagement and wedding plans coming to an end and maybe you don't see it now, but once things fall into place they will make more sense and you will probably begin to feel relief. Every long-term relationship I have been in there was always this feeling of "what if" initially after the break up. The more thought into it, the more it made sense that there was more in the relationship holding me back and making me unhappy than the opposite. I never thought I would meet my now fiance after that last train wreck relationship I had. I swore it would be the last because I was so manipulated.

-People will understand and respect your decision to call off a wedding if the relationship is not going well. I think it would be worse to bring people out to a wedding, have them give all this money and gifts, celebrate you and your SO, and then find out that a month later you called it off. If you have not invested much financially into the wedding yet then you are probably on the right path. It will take awhile to heal from and that is fine. Just remember, everything happens for the reason and when things start to pick up you will take that sigh of relief and tell yourself you are glad things worked out the way they did. Find someone you dont need to change. Be happy with the man you are with... as he is.

Do you feel that he felt forced into the engagement at all?

Wow, So incredibly sorry this happened to you. My heart was so sad just reading about this. I do want to say that what has stuck out to me from what you shared was the fact that on Valentines day only two weeks ago he was claiming to be fully vested in your relationship and future marriage; and not even a month later he claims he's been feeling hopeless for awhile now (whatever awhile is, a day, a week...) So to me, just from what you've shared, to me it seems as though he was not caring for your heart with his hasty actions. He isn't yet ready to communicate or love you the way that you clearly care for him. I'm grateful you didn't have to go through this after he two of you were married girl. Also, please don't settle....if you desire to be married and have a family in that way, you will find someone else who will give you that and more... This coming from someone who had a tragically horrible 1st marriage and decided to love myself enough to want better, which I'm so glad I have. Hope things work out in the way that you need them to.

I'm sorry that you are so hurt. But you can't dwell on what if's. I know its not what you want to hear but all the what if's are going to hurt more and make you feel worse. You need to be strong you need someone who will truly care about you and not make you feel this way ever! You will find someone who will put your feelings first and don't settle for anything less!