Fiancé doesn’t get it.....

I'm so sorry he feels that way. Try to see if you can come up with a compromise. Maybe consider a microwedding? Usually these consist of 50 people or less. Invite only CLOSE family and friends. There are venues out there that specialize in microweddings. Some that I have seen range between $2,000-$10,000. This depends on how many people are invited, and what you are paying towards. Some of these microwedding venues also provide packages. The microwedding I am using has a package for $3500 that comes with:
-Location fee
-Photographer fee
-Officiant/Minister
-Bouquet and Boutonniere
-Booklet of our pictures from the wedding
They do also offer add-ons at certain prices (such as videography, mini reception, chairs, etc.).

Maybe try to reason with him and come up with a compromise.

So, if anything do your research on here (wedding wire), or even google "microwedding" (your location).

My FH and I are both paying for our wedding. But he would rather that we save what we can so we can put more money towards our honeymoon and future home projects. Which is what I was thinking about as well.

I understand where you are coming from with this. My fiance just wanted to do a court house wedding and skip the party. He would say the same thing to me. I am very lucky he has such a good best friend who pointed out to him that "dude I'm the one you complain to about this stuff." I know his feelings haven't changed but he understands that it's a thing that makes me happy. Just like I play warhammer kill team cause it makes him happy.


Also I found that asking him what would be his big ticket items for a wedding helped as well and only engaging him in those topics helped.
For my fiance his big ticket items are the venue, food and alcohol. He didn't think he cared about the DJ till I asked the dj if they could play his dad's music. (He passed away) now he cares. He weighed in on all those and was a big part of choosing with out pulling teeth.
He is all the one coming up with the idea for the honeymoon. Cause it's something he cares about.
I update him about my progress on all other things but no major details unless he asks. Example "I order item to see if it works for the center pieces so keep an eye out of packages." He then occasionally gets curious and comes to see how they look and gives comments. Or "hey I found a wedsite where we can get custom playing cards as favors." (Our theme is Games) he is ok with those favors before he wanted to skip favors as he saw them as useless. I drown my bridal party, and our mothers in wedding talk. Him I don't push it and I have found he gives more input this way. I hope my experience can help you find a away to communicate with your partner.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for this answer! Did you chose the venue, food and alcohol by yourself or he cooperated? Are you paying the wedding alone? I think the only way for me to do the wedding would be paying alone, because he does not see a wedding as something he wants.. I don’t know where to start planning without his help. I feel that if I start ordering stuff will be just sitting at the house, because if I depend on him, the wedding will never happen. Don’t know what to do.

View Quoted Comment We are paying together. He is only doing the wedding cause it's what I really want and I was willing to die on that hill. Like I said he complains to his best friend. I know he still doesn't wanna do it but it makes me happy so he is. I do all research on vendors and limit it to three of the best in our price point. He only goes to the meetings. I know him well enough to take his likes into consideration when picking venues. Thats how we ended up at Hotel Baker. It was the first one I brought him to he didn't care for the other two as much. It also helps that his boss has gone to weddings at the venue so he gave it a glowing review.


Now my big question is he against the wedding or being married?

View Quoted Comment My fiancé is against the wedding, he say that’s a waste of money and weddings are scams etc... I am sure that at the end, he will be doing the wedding because of me. But for now we have not done any planning/pick and choose kind of thing. And our main priority also it’s a house, so I am having to step back but I keep bringing wedding all the time lol

View Quoted Comment Then this might not be the time to start planning the wedding. As mortgage companies don't wanna see a lot of money leaving your bank account when closing. My fiance and I have been in our house for over year before we started planning our wedding.


Though I would like to know what do you want out of your wedding? What does your dream wedding look like? What emotions and memories are you hoping to make?