Fiancé hurt that his parents don’t want to contribute to wedding

No-one owes you a wedding. I would have found it uncomfortable that you asked several times.

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for your wedding. Doesn't matter how much money his parents make. It's their money.

I would have never sat down and said "would you like to contribute?" Both my parents and my fiance's parents offered to contribute, so when the time came to set a budget, we sat down with them and asked what they wanted to contribute. My FH's mom wanted her high school friends to be invited, even though we don't really know them (this was after we set the budget) so we let her know that we couldn't afford additional people, and she offered to pay more to cover them.

I agree with everyone above. My parents had long talked about how they would give my sister and myself $x, and in return did not want to be involved in any of the planning after that. So time came around and I took my dad to lunch and asked if that offer still stood. He said yes and gave it to me when he was ready. If you have to ask "do you want to contribute" the answer is no. I wouldn't waste any time being upset about it, and I'd probably apologize to them for coming off poorly. Definitely looks really bad on y'alls part, especially since you stated you guys have plenty of money and are covering 90% of the wedding.... sorry OP

So, although I feel like neither of you should be upset over this, I do think talking to them about it was not wrong. All of the articles about budgeting for weddings say to sit down with your partner and parents and discuss. Pushing for money - very inappropriate. But I don't think that bringing up the topic is over the line. If you were asking friends - yeah, rude - but parents? It's not out of line.

However, with that said, I think you should take their first response as their only response. Asking a second time or adding pressure is inappropriate. And I think it's worth saying, that you and your fiance are 100% entitled to your feelings. You can be upset, disappointed, etc. That is fine. However, I'd be wary of allowing those feelings to interfere with your relationships or encourage you to approach them again about it.

If they're weirdly wedded to old-fashioned ideas of the bride's family paying, maybe they'll surprise you by paying for the rehearsal dinner. But I wouldn't count on it. I'd let them chose to do more, if they want to. The conversation has been had. And you and your fiance are just going to have to process your feelings, and move along.

I hardcore disagree with everyone here. No, it is not expected that parents pay for your wedding, but it is in no way wrong to ask because most parents WANT to help in some way. Maybe you should've only asked once but I don't think it was wrong to ask. And it sounds like you didn't approach it as "Will you please help pay?" but more of a "are there any aspects you would like to contribute to?" which is completely acceptable and exactly what we did.

Regardless of others comments, I think you and your fiancé have a right to your feelings on the situation, but I honestly would just take the no for an answer and move on. If they don't pay for anything they don't get a say in anything.

Some parents really do want to help and feel bad if they don't contribute, so I don't think asking if either of your parents wanted to contribute was a terrible thing to do. And regardless of how anyone views it, what's done is done, so there's no point in beating a dead horse. However, nobody is obligated to contribute, so you're going to have to accept that. I'd try to view it in a positive light: they didn't offer any money, so you don't have to entertain any of their demands or suggestions on who to invite, how to do things, etc.

Completely agree with all of this!