Fiance is being difficult

View Quoted Comment DANCE WITH YOUR DAD! I don’t mean to get real serious here, but my dad has been sick for a long time. No matter how COVID screws up our plans to get married this year, I am definitely walking down the aisle and dancing with my dad. I can tell it is so special to you just from your messages and you never know what a year from now will look like. Don’t compromise on the dance with your dad.

View Quoted Comment I do agree with this he does have health problems so this is why I really want to do it. This is the main reason why I was upset.

I say live in the moment and do what you both want now! No one has any idea what next year will bring. So might as well have exactly what you want in this present moment, then worry about the rest later! Deep breaths as you and your love get through this together ❤️ Sending you peaceful vibes✨

View Quoted Comment Thank you very much. When I wrote this post I was upset. I'm better now that him and I have talked.

Oh my gosh; definitely need to figure this out and be on one accord!
I would explain how many venues are already saying executive orders might not change and telling the bride and groom’s to be aware of the limits going into effect next year... something to think about. Personally, we did an intimate wedding last month with 20 guests and did everything just in case! I would rather repeat than not to experience it once.

We're having a super small legal ceremony in November. We aren't even telling people we're getting married. The city of Boca in Florida cancelled our permit for our wedding a little over a week ago. My fiance's family can't come up from FL. We are doing a very bare bones wedding for my family (parents, brother, sister, and grandma). Our best man couldn't come, so no MOH or best man. We are catering just so we don't have to go to a restaurant with all of us. We are going to save the money on flowers, entertainment, appetizers for next year when we have the ceremony.

You two need to come to an agreement though. My fiance said he wanted to have the wedding I dreamed of next year, so that's where our focus is.

View Quoted Comment I agree there’s no reason to cut the dad dance. THAT is about you, not your FH so he really shouldn’t be allowed to put that one on the chopping block.
THAT said, you can have a dance with your dad without making it a big event. There’s music playing? Casually ask your dad for a dance. Doesn’t need to be an ordeal. My brother didn’t have spotlight dances at his wedding , but still managed to get in a dance with my mom — there were other people on the floor and the focus wasn’t all on them, but they got to share their moment — and that’s the important part !

View Quoted Comment I like your idea thank you

I know you said you have talked and you’ve compromised to not do the things you wanted to do. I am always for compromise in a relationship. However, it sounds like the first dances are really important to you, especially the one with your dad. And your reception for next year isn’t even planned. I’d be willing to bet that if your FH waited until 6 days before your wedding to bring up these things he will not move forward with a reception next year.
Talk with him some more and explain to him how important the dances are to you and why they are important to you. Saying “ok we will do them at some arbitrary event next year” isn’t really a compromise.

If he's nervous about saying his vows in front of people, it seems like doing so in front of 25 people rather than 125 would make more sense... Just something worth mentioning to him. Sounds like you could encounter these same obstacles when you do the reception next year.

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I agree. I think he is not trying to be difficult but trying to save some excitement for later.

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This is your wedding day. Get to the root of the no. But dancing with your father is a big deal - and should not be moved to a year from now because the party will be bigger. My daughter's wedding had 9 of us - we still did everything that occurs at a larger wedding that we could. There was no father/daughter dance because their dad passed away the year before. This is not about what "most people" do. Who cares what most people do...talk to your fiance, this is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. Next year's party ain't your wedding day. Best of luck. Ignore Judith.

Whether or not you have a spotlight dance, if there is any dancing you can dance with your father. And your wedding isn't the only time you can dance with your father. Your next birthday, or his, 4 or more of you go to a place with dancing.

My fiancé gets nervous in front of people too so we decided to do a first look and then do our own vows privately at that point. Then the more generic during the ceremony. Vows are personal so it’s okay to do that privately in my opinion.

As for the dance, what others have said that I agree with, do what makes you happy. Dance with your dad, he doesn’t have to dance with his mom if he doesn’t want to. I lost my dad years ago so I’ll never have that, you should be able to now and at your bigger reception later.

Speeches can be an option not an obligation. You could even open it up as “if anyone wants to say a speech we’d love to hear it but are also happy to wait for it at our bigger reception (insert date here)”
These are potential compromises which I hope you two talk further about as at the moment it sounds like your compromise is just doing what he wants or doesn’t want. He needs to understand these things are important to you too. But that may be completely off with not knowing all the facts. Either way I hope you two work it out for a special day.

Its all about compromising! I hope you two can come to a happy medium where you both get what you want.

Tell him the wedding is a woman’s special day and if he can’t honor that then to hell with him.
Idk I’m very honesty about my feelings and I would absolutely hate if I was restricted. He doesn’t sound excited while you do seem excited and that’s a problem he needs to fix before he looses you. Most men keep telling women no no no once the start accepting that answer.
Remember woman rule the world. Men just think they do lol best of luck I know everything will be fine . Praying for your joy and happiness and good health through all this.

I think a conversation is in order. My fiance was kind of in the same spot as yours, I explained "this is our wedding" anything after is a party to celebrate the marriage that we already did. he came around and is much more excited now that some of the pressure of everyone being there is off. Hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment It does thank you

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I totally get that... Is there anyway you could do a father-daughter dance before your photographer leaves? Such a tough spot... but since it is so important to you, it should be a priority. It is your day too!