Fiancé refuses any wedding talk..

Yes exactly Karen! I just genuinely feel bad for those lovely ladies who can't wait to share a beautiful inspiration photo or get some excitement from their fiancé and yet they have to sit there silent unable to express that joy because they aren't allowed to talk about it. It just seems very one-sided to me. I'm sure many of the men love their women.. I just don't get it.

I picture a woman sitting at the dinner table bursting at the seams looking for an opening to talk about it but knowing it may lead to a 'I don't want to talk about it'... Just makes me sad she probably isn't getting the bridal experience she thought she would get..

At least we're here to support those ladies.

I get it. My fiance found the logistical and cost discussions very stressful, though he is excited about some things (GM gifts, tuxes, cake) He found it even worse to watch me stressing out about things he couldn't fix for me and didn't have full info on, since every vendor has contacted only me with all info (that's a rant for another day). But just as I don't care about tuxes, he doesn't care about chairs or ceremony arch decor. So I'm not surprised he and other fiances wig out. I AM surprised by those who don't do basic planning like making a guestlist.

FH isn't bursting with excitement, and he tolerates my bubbles, but he just wants to be married and done. If it's not in the next month, he doesn't really care. For some reason, he thought we were getting married next April (wtf?) and when I told him it was the one after, he was like well Why the hell are we saving and touring and booking then?!?! Haha I was like oh Jesus. I just basically plan it all and keep him in the loop. If it's not in the near future it's not on his radar. Just how he is. Excited to marry me, not excited to put in the work for a wedding.

Ahahahahahaha!!! Tiffany that's hysterical! @Emily.. That makes sense.. Many men get super stressed easily.

Well ok...my FH hates wedding talk because

1. It stress him out when I nag him to do his shits

2. He's pretty shy so he have been dreading the wedding day and being the center of attention

3. He thinks we are spending so much money on one day (I feel like that too)

4. He just couldn't understand why I get so hang up on little thing like color of my shoes or type of flowers

5. He doesn't get why I am so emotional about picking our songs or discussing wedding vows.

6. He has no clue about etiquettes in general (like why RSVP and seating charts are needed)

Overall, he is looking forward to marrying me but not at all looking forward to wedding itself.

So anyway, this place have help me a lot because I want to talk wedding 24/7!! Thank you!!

If it was up to my FH we would be getting married at the courthouse. He says tell him where to be and nothing else. It doesn't bother me, i wanna plan everything myself anyway.

Eta: i do tell him stuff and he tries to participate in conversations but half the time he doesn't know what i am saying. He is payin for stuff and he doesn't even know whats happening. Lol

Yeah I don't get that at all. FH doesn't care about some details - but he at least holds up the other side of the conversation so I can figure out what we are going to do.

Ahhhhhh this is great insight and it's starting to make sense! I get it.. It's not that they don't want to marry their women.. It's just they can't understand why us women obsess over shades of blue and place cards.

So probably because of this misunderstanding they would rather not communicate about it because they feel they have nothing to add

to the conversation.

These fellas will probably be very excited for cake tasting, food tasting and the honeymoon.

Yesss. My FH is wayyyyy excited about the honeymoon. He just said the other day, "I can't wait until we go to the mountains"

My FH has been a bit of an enigma in this department. He was the one who wanted a "real wedding," aka a big party, white dress, bridal party, etc. yet he seems to think this type of event can be pulled together in a week. So I tell him oh today I did this and that for the wedding and he says wow you're doing so much so soon! I'm sitting here like we are planning a whole wedding in 4 months! That's like no time!!!

ETA because I hit submit too soon: he is okay at specific tasks, and he's excited about making a playlist!

I'm glad to hear this side of things ..

At first glance when I would hear women say this.. I thought.. Did the woman give him an ultimatum .. Like if I don't get a ring I'm gone.. and did he buy the ring to buy himself some time until he figures it out and to keep his lady quiet for a few months?????

I'm glad to see its just the level of stress the conversation brings when all the aspects of the wedding are discussed that's the problem.

Makes more sense now for sure.

Mine has gotten stressed about the details. My bad because I know him well and should have known too much detail will send him over the edge. I've scaled back on what aspects I discuss with him and it is better! I guess the key is know your man and his limits lol

My FH literally doesn't give a crap about the wedding. He has verbalized he is very excited to get married though. He just doesn't want any part of planning. He just said "tell me when I need to show up, tell me what I need to wear"

If and when I needed any information from him I just went to his mother

Well my FH was ok with wedding talk I wouldn't say ecstatic but he was nice about it. Last weekend I took him to a bridal show because we went to see a potential photographer, he was a little overwhelmed but now he gets it!! He now knows Im not all crazy lol. Im glad I took him because before he didn't want a videographer and now he's all excited about having one!

Oh man, I am so thankful that FH has been very actively involved with the wedding. We've worked on the guest list together (and puts up with my whining about it), have met with our coordinators for the church ceremony + hotel reception, met with our photographer/videographer/DJ, did cake tasting together, and we booked our honeymoon together (I bought the tickets and he paid for our hotel stay for 6 nights). The only part where I went by myself was to the florist (because that's kind of a girly thing) and obviously when I got my dress and when the bridal party got their dresses. I am so thankful. In fact, I've been complaining about how large the guest list is (153 people) and how some of my family has drama and serious issues...but he wants everyone to have great time and no one to be left out. I just feel bad because my side really tramples his.

I agree. My fiancé tells me every day that he can't wait to marry me and has helped me every step of the way with planning.

My FH wants the marriage (and babies) not so much the big wedding. He hates people looking at him. But we still has input and opinions and still helps with stuff.

My fh doesn't like to talk wedding because he's the kind of person who doesn't get excited about things until the day of. When we went for our final venue appt he was surprisingly very excited about it. He even demanded that we do the bouquet and garter toss which I didn't want to do but since he was finally speaking up I gave it to him. He's now a little more excited since we are planning going the music for the day. But he always just says to me you do the planning and I know it will turn out great.

FH is definitely stressed out by wedding details. He would have been happy signing the marriage papers and going out for dinner, but he really wanted me to have a wedding. So I try to only ask him things I need him to have input on.

I was in this situation when I first got engaged in May 2015. As soon as we got engaged I was already on Pinterest and planning ect. I think I kinda hit my fiancé with everything all at once, planning, costs, appointments ect. Our wedding was originally planned for May 2017, so it still being two years away I'm sure he was overwhelmed by everything I was throwing at him. It honestly caused huge fights between us and when I finally settled down and started to realistically plan things out he was a lot more happy to be involved in the planning.

If any of these women were like me, I've been planning parts of my wedding since I was a kid but for a man its different. It wasn't that he was not ready to get married, he was just overwhelmed by everything happening right away.