Fiancé straying..

I am SO sorry you are going through this. Just echoing what everyone else has been saying, leave. Don't look back. Your friends and family will support you, I'm sure they wouldn't want you marrying a boy who treated you like this. It will be hard, but a couple years from now, you will be so glad you did.

Girl, you better run fast as hell and don't look back!!!

Hi everyone thanks for the comments and thanks to those of you who are trying to understand. At this point I still don't know what I'm going to do but we are headed to counseling this morning with our priest. Hopefully he can give us some insight. I just can't believe this is happening to me..

Ashley, lots of people have told you to cut and run, that they'd be gone already, you're a fool if you stay, etc etc. Of course, those things are so much easier said than done and it's hard to say what people would REALLY do if they were in your shoes.

I can imagine the embarrassment and shame you probably feel about canceling the wedding, but like others have said, that's easier than divorce. He WILL do this again, and I'm sure has done it before. This is the first time he's been caught. Please don't marry this man. You deserve so much better. I hope your priest gives you some guidance, but can I also suggest talking to a counselor on your own (a priest will most certainly be biased in his advice...).

PLEASE DO NOT TIE YOURSELF TO THIS MAN !!! JUST TO DIVORCE LATER because it is hard to cancel everything. NO it is not. You call the vendors and say the wedding is off.

how many do you have? photographer, officiant, ceremony space, caterer, cake, videographer, reception space? that is less than 10 calls. and CALL them do not email.

Actually, do not cancel the cake. Eat that fucker with your best friends with champagne. And go on your honeymoon if you have already paid for it. You deserve it! He does NOT deserve you!!

I had a friend who was dating an absolute loser, and he was doing the same thing. Posting ads on craigslist to meet random women and have sex. My advice to her was GET OUT FAST.

I know your wedding is soon approaching but you really need to dump his ass!

Ashley, while its great you both are speaking with the priest, please also speak to a counselor on your own. You need someone to listen to YOU and help you decide the best path for yourself. Give yourself time to process this. A trust was broken. That trust will not be rebuilt in 9 days. Can you marry someone you don't (and may never) trust?

My ex-fiancé did the same thing to me, but I was so convinced he would change. After the second time I busted him, he agreed to go to counseling--together and individually.

Despite counseling and my best efforts, he didn't stop and I couldn't do it anymore. I finally realized that I deserved better and he was never going to give that to me. He is now married to one of the girls he was talking to online...

He has clearly been lying to you and getting away with it for a while, so I can almost guarantee that he has cheated on you physically. I have been around a lot of cheaters in my day unfortunately. People do not just meet up at the bar like that and not go physical. The fact that he is doing this just shows that he is definitely not ready to be married or committed to you. He may say he is but actions speak louder then words. No man that is marrying the girl of his dreams would do this. I am so so sorry that this is happening to you. It is a complete and horrid nightmare and no one deserves to go through that kind of emotional pain. You truly deserve someone that has eyes for you and only you.

(PS anyone that uses craigslist to get a BJ has to be a total creep/perv/weirdo. Not to mention, he cheated on you during a time that he should be the most infatuated with you. I would never be able to look at him the same again. I don't think any amount of counseling could fix that for me.)

Please let us know how it goes and if there is anything we can do to help you.

You, not him, at least right now, sorry I am seething for you.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I had a similar situation where my ex was just looking at casual encounters on CL. I never had proof of infidelity but it made me go nuts trying to find evidence of it. I stuck around for way too long with no trust. You will feel like dirt spending your time making sure nothing happens. Please at least postpone this wedding!!!

Nope, nope, do not marry.

I am so sorry this happened to you! Dump him now. He has proven that he is not committed to you.

You have to ask yourself this question... can I deal with this for the rest of my life? Whatever your answer is... that is your answer whether or not you should marry him

Here's what your priest should say. even though you're only a few days shy of being married:

"You shall not commit adultery". - Exodus 20:14.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart'." - Mathew 5:27-28

Here's the thing.

If you go through with this, you are subconsciously saying "This behavior is acceptable. You will not bear repercussions for this."

You are giving him a green light to do this to you forever because he knows he will not lose you over it.

Side note: I don't believe the "once a cheater always a cheater" thing because honestly it could just be your relationship. (No offense/sorry) Or he could do that to every woman and needs to grow up. People DO change, they just have to do it on their own.

No! What a sicko.

I am so sorry, but I think you know the answer to this. It's not easy to do, but avoid the mess he will bring to your life. You will be happy you did.

I'm sorry this has happened to you but my answer would be bye bye baby bye bye...

OMG I'm so sorry this is happening to you. As a date twin I could not imagine what's going through your head. The petty side of me says call your entire family, tell them what happened and for them to not to attend the wedding. I'd probably go to the wedding (cancelling all day of payments of course) alone and tell everyone what happened and why I am not marrying him. Sucks so bad. Please don't be petty, like I would. Just dump him and get away for a while.