Fiancé straying..

I couldn't marry a man who was being so deceitful and before the wedding too. It would be too hard to trust him again. I would possibly try to make things work if we were already married, but in this situation, I'm glad you caught him before you were hitched. You deserve way better girl.

Ashley, I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I commend you for seeking help and going to counseling with him. No matter how this turns out, I wish you luck. My heart aches for you

I'd jump ship.

He has no respect for you.

He doesn't deserve you.

You deserve better.

You deserve someone who puts you first, and has no thoughts of other women.

Guaranteed something else has happened. Soliciting online typically isn't where first time cheaters begin.

Run as fast as you can.

He's the one for you?

So you can see yourself 10 years from now wondering where he is if he isn't home for dinner?

Would you want you future son to treat a woman this way?

Would you tell your future daughter it's okay to allow anyone to treat her this way?

Run!

If you marry him in a week, his vows will be lies. He's proved that he's not committed to you, do you really want to promise to be with him forever while you're still dealing with the aftermath of that? I'm not saying that you can't rebuild the relationship, but he should be on his knees to you proving that he wants to be with you and will do anything he can to regain your trust, and that takes time.

I am so sorry you are going through this. The craigslist thing is particularly creepy to me. I don't think anyone deserves to treated that way. You deserve someone honest and faithful. I would leave him.

My heart goes out to you, Ashley. I discovered some similar things with my ex husband at the 4 year mark (craigslist ads) and also walked in on him having sex in our bed with a friend of mine. My family strong armed me into talking to our vicar and you know what he said? "Even as a priest, I think there has been too much betrayal for this union to be mended or for trust to be restored." At this proximity to your wedding, when you two should be giddy with your impending nuptials, your FH was looking for some side action. I just don't believe it can or will get better, and I am so sorry.

Do what you feel is best in your heart without paying heed to the opinions of others or external pressures, but please protect yourself. And realize it may take a long time to heal. I look back at the younger woman I was then when ex-h cheated and it still makes me so sad that I've lost that ability to easily trust. I haven't yet found the solution but time heals all wounds, supposedly, and it gets a little easier to breath every day, even tomorrow- it may be imperceptible at first, but things will get better.

First off, I would postpone and go get tested immediately. Just because nothing happened with that doesn't mean there haven't been other instances of slime ball-ness where things happened/could have happened. I would want to be safe and make sure I was free of any worry. If there is any part of you that wants to continue this relationship, I would strongly recommend you both attend counseling.n

Oh OP I am so sorry that you're going through this right now. Like everyone else said RUN and run as far as you can.

Let me tell you my aunt's story. She found out her fiancé was cheating before the wedding, despite every advice she chose to stay with him. I wasn't born yet, but I can assume she marry him because he had title, he had more money than my family at that time.

Well, they got married on 12-29-1990 and in 1996 the guy came home coughing, loosing weight and my aunt who has been lab tech took his blood and run some test. Guess what, he got AIDS. Fortunately my aunt didn't get it and they are still married until today.

She has deep regrets of not calling off the wedding and she cries about it all the times. She can never have kids because she can no longer have sex w/o a condom. Yes she is rich but she's miserable.

You don't deserve that. 9 days b4 your wedding you should be pampered not dealing with a cheating fiancé.

Even if you decide to go with the wedding, don't do a BAM. I don't think we need to see someone who have the gut to ask fora BJ on Craigslist ewwww

ETA: words

I know I've already commented a while back but I just saw this post again and I can't believe how shitty some people can be. My heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry.

With that said, please please walk away from that relationship and save yourself from a lifetime of pain and heartbreak.

You will never have peace with that man and he already showed you he has absolutely no respect for you. You trusted us enough in this forum to talk about this issue so please trust us enough to know that we are giving you advice with the best intentions. You deserve to marry a man that would only see YOU in his life and a man that would never do this shit to you... You deserve the wedding of your dreams with a man that deserves to be in your dreams, he clearly, does not.

Nope. I would have all my brothers, uncles, and cousins jump him. You're going to put some respek on my name. Nope, so much nope!

You should definitely leave now. Its going to hurt worse when you find out he has cheated when you are already married. This man is obviously not ready for commitment.

Run

I'm so so sorry. What an awful situation. If my FW was looking for sex from someone else and meeting with women at bars, I would absolutely not marry her until we figured things out. Your wedding is so soon and he did these things? That means he has no regard for your feelings and the fact that you are getting married. It doesn't sound like he will take the wedding vows seriously. This is just what you know about, who knows what else he has done and not told you about? This is a HUGE red flag and a sign for what could happen in the future if you do get married. When you're engaged and about to be married, you should be in the honeymoon stage where you can't even think about anyone else because you're so in love. The fact that this is happening now of all times is a big NO. Hugs

So sorry

Is that the kind of man you want as a role model for future children you may have?

I would be out that door as fast as I can. If it were me, the wedding wouldn't be postponed, it would be permanently cancelled.

I am so so sorry this is happening. You do not deserve this. Go find a real man that will want to be with you and ONLY you.

Since you will lose out on the money you already paid and your family and friends already have made their travel arrangements, let them come and have a big party. Make it an impromptu family/friend reunion. Call his side up and straight up cancel them.

I'm sorry you're going through this but no I wouldn't. I went through this with my ex husband before I married him and he ended up cheating with me 3 months into the marriage.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I won't try to say whether you should leave him or not, but I will say that in that situation, at the very least, I would put a hold on the wedding, have a big talk, and get into counseling with him.

Ashley:

In any situation you have to love Ashley first before you can love someone else. In saying this allowing him to do that and basically giving him a slap on the hand is telling him your ok to be mistreated in anyway he wants to treat you. I've been there and it's the most horrible thing ever. I promise you yes it hurts honey it does and it sucks, but you deserve only the best and if he is seeking others then he's not loving you like you deserve and it will happen again.

I promise you the thoughts of this and what he did will never leave the back of your mind and it will torture you inside and that's so unfair.

I agree canceling your wedding will suck, but getting a divorce would suck even more especially if kids become involved. Do yourself a favor and save yourself the heartache now.

I hope you find peace with all of this and find a man that truly loves you for the person you are. Praying for you! Hugs!!!

Dump him