Fiancé straying..

I agree with the other ladies... Don't marry someone like this.. It's better to have found out now then after your married it's a little less complicated.. I'm sorry

It's ultimately your decision, if you feel like you can honestly trust him and be happy then go for it. If not then postpone it or call it off. Like others have said, even if nothing physical happened that you know of, he honestly had thoughts of doing it and wanting it. Sorry you are going through this.

Nope! Nope! & Nope!!!! Emotional cheating is way worse that physical cheating (that's bad too)!! And, if he would have gotten any takers on that craigslist BJ post, he would have went through with it! Bye Felicia!!! #SorryNotSorry. But, if you truely believe that he is the one, then I would suggest to postpone the wedding and go to counseling. You guys need to figure out the reason why he is not totally satisfied in your relationship.

@Ashley, whether he's ever physically done anything with another woman during your engagement - heck, during your entire relationship - what he's doing is completely disrespectful to you and your commitment. I know it's hard. I would not have wanted to believe it myself if I had known during my relationship with my first bf that he had been dating another woman for months before breaking up with me to be with her (I found out later after much pining and a failed friendship with him), but I sure would have loved to have had that information in the moment so I could have gotten him out of my life faster.

Deal breaker. I know it's hard, but in the long run you will be happier. You deserve more. You have to believe you deserve more.

ETA: he 100% cheated even if it wasn't physical. Don't let him tell you otherwise.

I cannot even begin to understand what you're going through. But as someone who knows nothing about you or your FH, the only advice I can say is that I would imagine it's easier to postpone your wedding 9 days before it happens than it would be to get a divorce a few months down the road.

This man is actively trying to cheat on you. It's not even that he met another woman by chance and fell in love, it's that he took the thought and time to craft and pay for an ad that he hoped would deliver a new sexual partner to him. If nothing came of it, that's not by his choice; it's because no one he liked responded. It is only a matter of time before he crosses the line physically as well.

Run fast, run far.

Cancel, not postpone. I'm one to recommend couples therapy most times but not when it comes to cheating. Emotionally cheating is much, much more damaging in my book and the actions he took prove just that. This man took the initiative to contact other girls, met at a bar atleast once, and put out a Craigslist ad. There's no coming back from that. I don't believe for a second that it's as far as it got and that it's the end of it. Have some respect for yourself and call it quits.

Talk to him about these things. Not making excuses for his behavior but this HAS to be a conversation before anything like cancelling or postponing happens. Talk to him please! Make sure there are no misunderstandings

I'm so so sorry Ashley.. My heart breaks for you but as hard as it is, I would DEFINITELY call that off 1,000%.. Save your self the future additional heartache. Just think.. He would have gotten a BJ or more and could have brought you home a disease.. He was willing to put your health in jeopardy..

Also.. As others have said.. I would put his ass on BLAST for what he did to you.. Tell all your guests so they don't get mad at you for a last minute cancel!

Nope this is enough for me to kick him to the curve

OP I am so sorry you are going through this. My sister went through something very similar. 2 weeks before her wedding she was knocking on my door crying that she found naked pics of another girl on his phone. He claimed it was spam. I still call bullshit on it. They got married and they just had a baby. She has never wanted to talk about it again. Now I keep a spare room for her because I can't wait for her to leave his ass. I HATE him! Mainly because I know too much. So just know that if you stay with him and you told any family they will probably never look at him the same way. I don't blame her for staying. Cancelling a big expensive wedding is easier said than done. But I wish she would of. She deserves better and so do you.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you Ashley.

I will say that I have been there. All the money you spent, and the family and friends you feel like you are letting down makes it seem like to stay is easier. But I promise, if you stay, things will get much, much worse and it will be harder and harder to leave.

Be strong!

My suggestion is to rip it off like a bandaid. The longer you think about it, the more your emotions will get in the way.

You know what you need to do for your own sake. Don't let your emotions and heart talk you out of it. Be smart.

Immediately write all your vendors and let them know the wedding has been canceled due to some relationship damaging decisions FH made. Leave it at that. Then surround yourself with friends and family.

He doesn't deserve your love. And you are sooo freaking gorgeous. You are settling for him.

Go get yourself a real man.

I agree with PP.

I also want to say how truly sorry I am that you are going through this. My heart broke for you reading that and I cannot begin to imagine the hurt you are feeling. Lots of hugs for you, OP.

Let me know if you want to talk.

I was you 2 years ago. About to marry a man who was cheating on me.

And now I'm engaged to someone beyond amazing.

Please please please don't stay with him.

Is this even a question?? Wait it is. HELL NO!! Good luck because if you are asking, you're probably going to stay. Take this as a huge sign and run fast.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I couldn't imagine. I would postpone the wedding, however I know that is much easier said than done

As other pps have done, I also showed this to FH and from a guy's perspective he says you should run. That physical stuff has probably already happened earlier in the relationship, it will definitely happen in the future, and that the emotional part is worse than the physical. So... another vote for leaving him and finding the life you deserve.

Canceling a big expensive wedding is easier said and done. I had people flying from out of the country to see me and it gave me the biggest hurt. I felt like I was letting everyone down. But that wasn't the case.

I would have let everyone down if I would have had that wedding.

And I'm telling you, cancelling was the BEST thing I ever did for myself and my family.

So sorry to hear that!!!!!! He doesn't sound like a great guy..... Def push ur wedding I'm not saying cancel. U need to talk and go to therapy and find out if u can ever trust him again...