Fiancé wants Catholic Church ceremony!

You may be able to have a catholic ceremony outside. You need to ask for permission from the bishop. I know of 2 people that did it last fall.

This is going to have to be a point of compromise. You can't have both an indoor AND an outdoor ceremony.

Sit down and discuss why each point is so important to you and see the reasoning behind each other's points.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Listen to your FH and try to fully understand why it is important to him to have a sacramental marriage. When you feel you can fully reiterate his desires, then fully explain to him why you need to be outside to feel close to God.. Once you both understand exactly where each are coming from you'll find the answer to what you should do next.

Are you Catholic? Because I dont know if this is everywhere (as I am non-denominational) but at the Catholic Church in my town you are not allowed to be married in the church UNLESS both parties are Cathloic. If you aren’t you have to take classes to become Catholic. My father was raised Catholic, and since my grandparents were paying for the wedding they told them they had to get married at their church, and my mom had to “become catholic” and then sign a decree saying that they would raise their children in the catholic faith. So I would sit down and talk to a father first- then decide after they tell you what is needed in their church.

I have a similar issue but I am the non-practicing Catholic and my fiance is not catholic and really wants a ceremony outside. My family if very religious and my Dad told my fiance we have to have the wedding in the church or else, basically. My fiance and I have looked at various options and I have read through the Canon Law and talked with my church. The Catholic Church/Canon law doesnt accept Sacramental Marriages made outside. You can get a deacon and some priests to marry you outside of the church, but it may not be considered a valid marriage by the church. There is also alot of paperwork involved to even have a marriage in the Catholic Church.

After alot of back and forth, we decided to have a wedding outside, because i believe God is everywhere, and it doesnt make sense to me that God can only sanctify valid marriages within the Church. With our outside wedding we asked a deacon to marry us and we are going to be using the Catholic vows and other Catholic elements in the ceremony as well as some personalized elements that have meaning for the both of us. I realize it may not be a "valid" marriage by the Catholic Church, but it was more important to me to compromise and start our marriage off as something the both of us decided and made our own, rather than something dictated by my parents, which is one sided.

If you are not catholic then this is a more serious discussion. As previously stated, you both have to be Catholic to get married in the church. So realistically he's not just asking you to compromise your vision for his, he's asking you to change religions (even if only temporarily and on paper).

This is something you should seriously sit down and discuss, because it could very well come up again later in life. If you have kids, what happens if he wants to raise them Catholic and you dont, etc. His views arent more important than yours, and if he isnt willing to discuss it then it seems this may be a pattern of "i want it this way or i wont do it".

My fiance and I are mutually nonreligious (I'm atheist. He was baptised Catholic as a kid but never practiced. He's open to the idea of a higher power if he ever found one that made sense to him, but so far nothing has). However his parents were both raised in Catholic school, in Catholic households and had a Catholic wedding. They're expecting a church wedding (they aren't aware that neither of us believe) but we're having a garden wedding. I am not looking forward to that discussion.

You both do not have to be Catholic to be married in a Catholic Church. Please discuss this with your FH, then if you decide to move forward with a Catholic ceremony go seek the advice and counsel of your local priest.

http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/wedding-form-options.htm

View Quoted Comment You do not both have to be catholic. According to church law you do, but the priest can give you permission. I had my meeting with my priest a couple of weeks ago. My fiancé is a baptized Christian with no interest in church, definitely not catholic. We filled out a form father dispensed the law and we are continuing on with wedding planning.
A long time ago, when my grandparents got married, both having to be catholic was manditiory, my grandfather had to convert and be baptized. OP go talk to the priest and see what options are available to you. And then decide with FH what will work for both of you.

Thanks everyone for the input! Yes, I am allowed to get married in the church we have visited some churches that have agreed to marry us

Here’s my thing- my FH doesn’t ask for much in this wedding process so often times when he does, I let him have it his way even if I’m unsure how I’ll like it. I think that you can incorporate nature inside, have flowers and plants maybe a little water fall thing for the sound? I think it’s more realistic for you to have it inside than for him to not get married in the church (especially if he is fairly religious). I know you said nature makes you feel closest to God and I totally respect that however, I don’t think you would feel “not close” to God just because you were in the church instead. Communication is key! Talk to each other a little more about it. Maybe you can alternate indoor/outdoor with ceremony/reception so one is inside and one is out.

Option 1 catholic ceremony open to all in a church, followed by wedding ceremony in outdoor venue, then reception

option 2 outdoor wedding, >3 months prior to ceremony seek dispensation from catholic church, have catholic officiant at ceremony, then reception

option 3 catholic wedding in church (small private), followed by wedding ceremony in outdoor venue, then reception