Our wedding is in 23 days! Everything is ready but today, fiancé told me he can’t get married because there are red flags.
Fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. I’ve been married before and it wasn’t a good one. I had trauma and no skills set to manage my feelings. I had outbursts and fights happened on and off. But we managed to griw and work things out. On Christmas day last year, he proposed. It meant the world to me.
These past couple of months, we had fights and old issues and concerns have been brought up. When we fight, I threaten to leave. It’s something I do to gain control. He’s fed up and no longer feels he can tolerate it. We are in counseling and it seems that we’ve been communicating well.
Today, we finally sat down and he said he needs more time and he was wrong when he proposed. I’d like to honor that but it will hurt so bad. He doesn’t want to break up and he wants us to continue working together. I feel blamed and I ruined this supposed to be the best day of my life. I am scared I’ll flare up and resent him and eventually leave him.
He is a good guy and he has flaws. We had fights that we valid but I always escalate them leaving him feeling miserable.
I have a hard time accepting this without telling myself I don’t deserve this. I am posting this to seek support.
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