Fiancé won’t tell his family

Hmmm, have you all set a date for the wedding yet? How often is he home if he’s in the navy? I’d say talk to him and see if you both can plan maybe a dinner with his family to tell them. It could be a weekend when he’s home visiting.

I completely understand your concerns and hurt feelings. But, coming from someone who is currently engaged to a recently ex-military man, I will say that getting to share good news, big life events, etc. face-to-face with family is super important to many people in the military. Most likely he is super excited about the news and wants to show it! I’m sure he wants to see their expressions, and get to hug them, join in on the excitement, etc. Tbh, I would be more worried if he wanted to just casually tell them on the phone – that would indicate to me that it wasn’t a huge deal to him. I know it’s hard to wait, but try to be patient! When will he get to see his family again?

Hi Melissa. Their family dynamic is just not your experience, so it will be hard to understand. As your partner is quite independent and private (by the looks of things), it would make sense he wants to bring personal news in person. You also say they never see each other. Sometimes partners (MIL, grandpa's, etc.) try to fix relationships with a wedding. I would not advise this as it's just a party, but the first intimidating step would be to allow others into your happiness. Make a plan, or demand Facetime if they live far away. I hope you two move forward on the same page. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Well he’s just left, so he leaves in October all his family live all over the country so it’s very rare that he gets to see them. With his ex partner he told his whole family he was engaged via their group chat. And we have set a date for the wedding it’s in February

I think you may need to reconsider this decision. There are very few reasons why a spouse would refuse to tell their family if they have a background of telling their family immediately in the past. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but it sounds like your spouse has some very different ideas of what you are to him, and I think you should reflect deeply on this before marrying him!