Fight days before wedding

True! I definitely know how you feel. We just bought a new house and moved only his stuff in this weekend and ITS ALREADY FULL. I told him by the time I move in at the end of the year, there needs to be room for my stuff. He's already started cleaning out. Your FH needs to be respectful of your request. Maybe you guys can get a storage unit to haul some of the stuff to? That's what we did before he moved into the house. Now he's having to actually go through it. Don't let this impact your wedding day though. It's not the end of the world.

That sucks that all of this turned into a big fight. But as someone who is also a packrat and procrastinator, perhaps I can give a bit of perspective. It can be really really hard to get rid of stuff. What looks like junk to everyone else can for whatever reason have a sentimental attachment that makes you want to hold onto it. If he's already gotten rid of a lot of stuff you should try to focus on praising/rewarding him for that. Because when someone pressures me to get rid of something my default is to keep it. I need to come to my own realization that it's time to let something go in my own time. If time is an issue can he at least just move stuff into the dedicated storage room for now and then work on clearing out stuff later after the wedding?

Marriage is about picking your battles and talking through things. While this was a great one to pick 8-9 months ago... I wouldn't be picking it anymore a few days before the wedding day. It could harbor a lot of bad feelings for either party come the wedding day and theres so much other things that will be going on. I would offer as much help in the meantime but understand also that if there is a lot its not ALL going to get done.

We are having the same issue, but reversed. From the packrat point of view, mine, it's not as easy as just throwing it away. If you don't have the problem it's hard to understand. We want to organize, we want to clean it, we want to be free of the clutter..there is just something within us that makes it difficult or near impossible for some people. For me I think it's knowing much of the stuff are things that belonged to my late parents. To some they are just "things" which I totally get, but for me it's more than that. It's my last things of them. I"m sure he wants to make you happy and do it. I know I want to for my fiancee, and I actually have done a lot toward it. It's not easy for some of us though,

I can see why you are frustrated that it isn't taken care of. Especially since it sounds like the two of you talked about this months ago. But, you can't go back in time, so now you just have to do the best with the situation that you have. Easier said than done, I know.

Trust me, in the weeks/days leading up to your wedding issues that are normally small and easily resolved or looked over can be really magnified. You are under a ton of stress and I'm sure your nerves are high right now, for both of you. The Wednesday before my wedding I was SO mad at my FH. He went out with my father in law and his uncle the Thursday before our Saturday wedding and stayed out ALL day and most of the night while I was dealing with a terrible nail job, people bugging me at work (while I was on PTO), vendors arriving early or asking to arrive early, his mother, etc. I was SO annoyed. BUT by the next day all was forgiven and I was just SO excited to see our families and get married it all just melted away. These feelings will def not over shadow your day. And who knows, FH may surprise you and get all done!

I've had this same problem except probably 10x worse (imo). I moved into FH childhood home in 2013 after his mom got sick and we needed to take over the bills and care for the house. So this was a FULL house FULL of stuff from FH childhood, FMIL first marriage to FH dad, her second married to FH stepdad, literally the house is fullllll and they were not very clean, organized people.

We literally had a room in this house we've NEVER gone in, Fh couldn't remember the last time he's gone in it (since he was a kid pretty much) and we JUST cleaned it out in May of this year....

The attic is still COMPLETELY FULL of his parents stuff.

We FINALLY got the kitchen painted/cleaned out 100% this winter, same with the dining room, and the living room, plus that back room we'd never been in, all in the last 7-8 months.

My advice is this:

1. FH didn't care about any of this until other people started pointing it out to him. So maybe let your family come in and let them point out the clutter and stuff. I know it sucks but something has got to convince him this can't go on. People would say to me "Haley when are yall gonna clean out the sunroom (back room) and I'd just shrug and say hmm idk FH when do you think that'll happen?"

2. I finally felt like I could start doing this stuff by myself once we got engaged last year, that's why all this has moved quickly. I painted all these rooms and cleaned them out with the help of one of my girlfriends. FH jumped on board day-of and helped, but never said he would while I was planning to do this. So you might just have to take control and get it done yourself. I know it sounds kind of insane/ridiculous, but my FH really just didn't care about the fact that his parents crap is everywhere. I care A LOT. So I just did it myself and stopped expecting him to do something he didn't want to do and didn't care about. Now he loves the way the house looks and can't believe we haven't done any of this sooner.