Hello everyone. I asked my long time best friend to be my MOH and a college friend and cousin to be bridesmaids. My college friend I still would hang out with about 4 times a year and went on vacations with even a few times once we were done school and live a few hours apart. She has a bit of a rude personality at times but has other good qualities I like. There have been times where I have had my feelings hurt and bite my tongue by something she says, but I often give her the benefit of the doubt because I don't think she means to come off that way. She is not the type of person I would speak to if I was upset emotionally. She and her husband (also was friends with in college, so Im friends with both of them) both do this. They also set me up with a longtime childhood friend 3 years ago whom I dated for about 4 months. It was not serious but one of the reasons why I broke it off with him was because this guy was super fake and repeatedly said some pretty vicious things about them and I told him several times it made me uncomfortable and stuck up for them. He was just a messed up person and I don't think the 2 of them knew he was like this as he acted different around them and just around other people in general.
Anyways, at my bachelorette party towards the end when we went to a karoake bar someone told me this college friend was outside crying over me. When I went out, she said she was offended by something I said earlier when I asked why she took my phone without asking me (I had to repeatedly ask her to give it back, but I was not mean about it!) and I thought it was weird she did that considering I didn't drink much. My other friends commented that they were surprised at how little I drank. I told her I didnt mean to offend her, and that I was not mad as the entire day had so far been really fun and apologized several times. She then kept saying she is a sensitive person and is thin skinned. I then told her how much she meant to me and that I had several friends I wanted to ask to be in my party but struggled with it, so the fact that I asked her meant alot. She then called me an insensitive person, and I told her that I had stuck up for her when other people were saying mean things about her and did not agree. She still seemed mad and I should have stopped at this point and just gone inside and sucked it up. (I have a hard time having fun if someone is mad at me or hurting over me). But her comment irked me so I told her the stuff the guy she set me up with did and how I repeatedly stuck up for her and her husband. She actually didn't seem to care one bit and did not think what I did meant anything, she just said "Oh, thats my husbands friend." She continued to be mad and someone else came out and told us to go in. She was still clearly mad when we came in and sulked and I got very upset and started crying as I didnt know what else to do and she left and then I cried for hours and the other girls said I was being too much of a people pleaser. SO embarassed on how I acted at the end of my bachelorette party.
I have not heard from her, its been 2 weeks, and my wedding is in 3 weeks. If she apologized or tried to make amends I think I'd be fine with it, but I have a feeling I am going to have to reach out and apologize and be the initiator. My fiance commented on how mean this girl is to her husband when we went on vacation together for a week 2 months ago and then told me to be happy she handled herself like this at my bachelorette party and not my wedding day. Should I just not reach out to her and hope she does, or just not reach out and thus, if I don't hear anything, assume she is not in the wedding? I have NO idea what I would say if I had to reach out first. I find it unfair I have to bite my tongue around her and swallow her comments that have hurt my feelings, yet when I say something she cannot handle herself. (She was also the DD at our party and she was NOT drunk at all). She also already bought her dress and financially helped with my bridal shower and some small amounts with my bachelorette party, so I feel guilty about that. I know she is probably still mad thinking she spent money on me and I apparently acted like a b****.
