We got engaged about a month ago and quickly decided to have a micro-wedding in Greece of October 2021. We socialized the idea with the family and then sent a google form out to help us nail down some logistics and address any concerns. Everyone responded very quickly and said yes, except for my fiancé's brother and father. They both are bad at communicating and work is their #1 priority in life. They're the kind of people who won't show up to family parties that are planned months in advance because they can't take time off work. Or they say they will be somewhere and then never show up or communicate why.
After a week of no response from finances brother, I texted him and we ended up having a long conversation addressing all his concerns. He was primarily upset about the idea of a non-traditional wedding because we weren't inviting any relatives or friends, but ended up saying "maybe" he'll come and he will start saving anyway and "try" to get time off of work.
After a few days of no response from FIL we texted to ask what he thought, although we had already heard from other family members that they thought he wouldn't go. He said he was sick and not in the right headspace to answer us, but he was concerned that it would be too expensive for us (it's not. we are very financially stable). He ended up testing positive for Covid and so we didn't pressure him to respond for two weeks. After we confirmed that he was feeling better we called to ask his thoughts again. He told us that he still hadn't had time to think about it and couldn't say yes or no at this time. He was very short with us and didn't really give any good excuses although we know that he doesn't ever take time for himself and has never traveled out of the country. We kept probing about what his concerns were and really just wanted him to say "I want to be there if I can get time off work" which he never did. We asked him again to please just fill out the form when he has a chance. After hanging up the phone we sent out a LONG email communication to all the family further describing why we decided on a small wedding in Greece and trying to address all possible concerns about travel, covid, costs, guest list, etc. We are offering to pay for everyones accommodation and make the logistics as easy as possible, planning the date around an American holiday so people can take less time off of work.
So it's now 2 days after our most recent convo and he's still not filled out our form. We are doing everything we can to get FIL on board but after weeks of no clear answers we feel we need to make some decisions and hire a planner. I want to be patient but I also know that if he doesn't end up coming it is going to be sad for my fiancé and the rest of their family. It will be very frustrating if he uses the location as an excuse as I don't think he would be any more receptive to a wedding even if it was in another State vs another country.
