Filipino (catholic) girl marrying Punjabi (sikh) man... 2 weddings?

What do you and FH want? I would prioritize that over the parents wishes. If you lve in the US, have the wedding here if that’s what you want or pick a destination wedding location that’s impartial so they both have to travel.

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Very hard decision for us.. we are both very loyal to our families & wouldn't be happy unless both sides are happy either.. Wish there was a simple solution to it all :/ Thank you so much for the advice Forestwed.

My brother and sister and law had three weddings, which for me is overkill, but it's okay. The first wedding was so that she could get her green card before the visa expired. 2nd wedding was in Japan for her family who still lives there. That was planned right after she got green card and the whole family went. One of my Aunt's and Uncle's even came as well as my cousin. My mom figured possibly that no child of hers would go since it was expensive a flight to Japan so she paid for our flights and we just had to bring spending money for the duration of the trip. Third wedding was in Los Angeles at the house to include everyone in that wedding. I'm not saying do what my mom did, but multiple weddings is doable.

His parents can travel to the United States for the wedding and so can your parents to India. Definitely figure out what you both want to do. If it's feasible, it won't hurt to do both.

Your family may surprise you, have you talked to them about it at all? It's really all about what you guys want to do in the end. It sounds like a spectacular way to celebrate your marriage though!

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It's comforting to know someone can relate to my story!! How was your family doing in Japan? Did they like it? Was it a comfortable experience? I think what we're worried mostly about here is making our families feel uncomfortable since both of our parents do tend to be very old fashioned in their respective cultures.

View Quoted Comment Can you do one wedding that incorporates both cultures and traditions or aspects of each?

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Unfortunately no since his family wants all of the town to come to our wedding and not all of my family can travel over there.

View Quoted Comment My family was fine besides a huge language barrier. My sister in law studied English so that helped a lot. My brother has learned a lot of Japanese as well so between the two of them, we were all fine and some people in Japan speak English too.

A Japanese wedding is not the same as an American wedding by a long shot, but we all had a wonderful time there. She explained how everything worked. They don't do dancing at a reception. You start with a cocktail hour, then we had the wedding. They take photos of everyone attending the wedding. Afterwards, you have the reception where it is literally a five course meal. Instead of dancing they had performances or slideshows depending on what they ask you prior to the wedding.

My family was very open to their culture and we made a vacation out of it so it made it alot of fun. We were there for 10 days. My family is very multi-cultural. My fiance is Vietnamese and my sister boyfriend is Argentinian.

I'm having a Vietnamese Tea Ceremony which is basically the equivalent of a marriage in his culture next weekend. We don't consider it our wedding day as we aren't signing anything until June 16.

Your parents might surprise if you just talk to them, same with his parents. They have to be open and if they are fine with you marryinh each other, I don't see why they wouldn't be open to their culture and learning about it.

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Scared to mention anything. My sister is getting married in one month to a Filipino catholic man & even she had issues with my parents wanting the wedding to be a certain way. Can't imagine how it would be with someone of another race/culture/religion. Thank you so much Michelle, we are excited as ever and also very nervous!

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Seems like a very loving and fun family you have. I love hearing stories of cultures coming together like yours. I hope whatever happens in my situation, it ends up fun & about love because that is what marriage is all about at the end of the day.

Part of me thinks that miraculously it'll all come together where another part is scared it's going to end up being an awkward train-wreck. I just hope I get to experience all of his traditions because I believe it is a very beautiful way to get married. Fingers crossed everything works out.

Thank you so much for giving me a piece of advice. Glad I can relate to someone.

Have you tried to sit them down and talk to them about your concerns. They may surprise you and be very open to either option. Having two ceremonies would also work if you wanted. Again I would sit down and explain to them what’s going on and you want to honor them both. Id these aren’t your wishes though you need to do what will make you happy.

I am marrying somebody from Spain in 12 days (eeek). We have planned a smaller, official ceremony in Spain. My entire immediate family is flying there, along with a handful and friends and their families. His family will be there, but it is a smaller guest list than is traditional in a Spanish wedding. We wrote our own ceremony to incorporate important aspects of both cultures, religions, and our own unique perspective as a couple. My entire family is super excited to experience Spain and to meet his family. For what it's worth, my parents are also very conservative.

We then have planned a reception celebration back here in the States for extended family and friends. And everybody is very excited to come and experience and celebrate with us!

I will warn you though, planning both events has been very challenging, time- consuming, and exhausting. It is essentially planning two weddings at this point (although our original idea was to just have one very small wedding and then an informal bbq... weddings have a tendency to grow).

Main point- both families will probably be hesitant at first, regardless of the decision you make, but they will probably surprise you with how excited they get in the end. Also, no matter your decision, you will not 100% please everybody, so don't really try. Just make a list of your number 1 priorities and then figure out the best course of action to achieve those priorities.

And lastly, I would definitely try to go to India for a traditional Indian wedding, because those look AMAZING!! So much fun! And I've seen really beautiful wedding videos on youtube in which a Catholic ceremony was blended with an Indian ceremony. Just youtube "Indian Catholic wedding" and you'll see how gorgeous they can be!

Good luck!

My friends are Indian and Jewish. They had 2 separate weddings - Everyone was invited to both - and seven so they incorporated a bit of both cultures in both ceremonies. But the extravaganza Indian wedding was a 4 day affair that people just couldn't be there for, so they did a smaller simpler ceremony as well.

Quite honestly, if his family is wealthy and throwing a big bash in India, and expect your family to be there, then they should be...if his family has the means you are speaking of and willing to pay for it, perhaps your parents would be OK buying plane tickets? Or maybe you guys offer to assist them with planning the trip and accomodations.
Indian weddings are big, fun, vibrant celebrations and if your family who loves you would not go because it isn't Catholic...well we're it my family, it would be their loss.

Beyond that...religiously they may differ but are quite modest in comparison to the US, so I don't see how that would be a factor?

Also...I second Rachel - you could certainly combine them and have an amazing time in either country!!!

Oh and I should note:
I am Saudi Arabian, marrying a part Irish white boy. We will have Catholics, Muslims, Methodists, Mormons, etc. at the wedding. So, decor wise I went more Arabian, but we are adding a handfasting to our ceremony and everything else is non-denominational and jist about love and US! My music is 99% popular music everyone will know, with 3 or so Arabic songs mixed in...
There are plenty of ways to have a multicultural and multi-faith wedding...regardless of country.

Definitely talk to both parents... See where their must wants are and you guys make the decision.. it is your wedding. And for all you know, your family may want to go to India

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Rachel, I wish you the best of luck on your very special day. Hope everything works on smoothly on your trip.

I really want an Indian wedding too! Seems so vibrant & beautifully traditional, I'm hoping we can get the best of both worlds like we always wanted.

Thank you for giving such great advice on how to attack each obstacle.

I hope you have the best time of your life at your wedding.

We are having 2 wedding ceremonies. My fiancé is Thai and followed a couple Thai traditions before getting married so we will be having a traditional Thai wedding ceremony about 3 weeks before our “American” wedding. At the end of the day it’s what you guys are comfortable doing! We chose to go this route and I’m super excited for both!