Finding a polyamory-friendly officiant for a non-legal union is hard

No judgement, love is love! Depending on the state officiants may, legally, unable to perform a ceremony (even if it's non-legal) because of weird marriage laws and fears of "fraud."

You can always have a trusted friend perform the ceremony and find different scripts online. Best of luck

View Quoted Comment Oh true. I’ll be changing my last name, but apparently that’s legal so long as I prove I don’t have a criminal record

You don’t need to have an ordained officiant since it’s not a legal ceremony. Just pick a close family or friend who would be willing to do it.

I would ask a friend or someone else who fully supports your relationship. As odd as this may sound, if his wife is on board maybe she would do it? Like the others said, since it’s not a legal marriage, you don’t need a legal officiant. Good luck!

If you want to hire a professional, maybe you can find an MC who'll do it? They're already familiar with weddings and public speaking.