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Beginner April 2022

Firing a bridesmaid? Help?!

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Ronique, on July 6, 2021 at 2:57 PM

Hey Lovely brides!
I am having a little dilemma and I could honestly use your help. I have a bridesmaids in whom I asked to take part in my wedding but I am starting to regret that I asked her. I have 4 other bridesmaids who I am very close with but I feel like any effort I make to get close with her, she just totally disregards it. I just feel like we are drifting apart. When I confronted her about how I feel, her answer is “Please be patient with me, I will come around” but she has been stating that since last year & nothing has changed. I just feel like the ball is always in her court and she never makes the effort to try and do better as she states. I am set to wed on April 22 & 24, 2022 (two weddings so I have to get the ball rolling) and I would love to ask her to step down soon being that I am going to start the process of looking for bridesmaids dressing with my girls. What do you ladies think? Am I being irrational or do you think it is a good idea to have her step doen? I am also aware that the friendship would no longer be there, but to honest, I don’t feel like we have a relationship at this point, so nothing gain, nothing lost.

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25 Comments

Beginner April 2022
Ronique · on July 6, 2021 at 8:59 PM
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Not gonna plead my case. You self reflect. Have a good night sweetheart.
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Beginner October 2022
Marija · on July 6, 2021 at 9:25 PM
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Hi babe! Congrats the engagement, April is such a beautiful time to get married! Reading through the comments, I agree that maybe sitting her down and giving her a safe space to speak her mind could really be the factor in her behavior. I’m what my fiancé called a “passive panda”. I avoid conflict as much as possible and try to please the most people in a single situation. With that in mind, I would argue that as hard as you may try to save/revive a friendship, some people are stuck in an unhealthy way of thinking I would recommend that you stop pouring so much of yourself and your energy to someone who may be a closed bottle, your energy is going to waste. Most weddings are the first and last an individual has in their life. There’s vendors to talk to, tailors to rush, and plenty of others who will be more than happy to help you out. You should have someone be supportive of you and so happy about this blessed time in your life! Either way love, no one is more important than you yourself! Good luck and stay well 💕
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Beginner April 2022
Ronique · on July 6, 2021 at 9:45 PM
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Omgg that you so much for understanding! I really appreciate your comment. I do have alot going on and I would love to have a friend and a bridesmaid to maybe ask how she can help. My feelings are being pushed aside to better accommodate her, which is leaving me unhappy with the friendship. I have been feeling this way since December of 2020 and I am trying to be accommodating, but it isn’t doing me much good. Thank you SO much for advice 💗
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Allyssa · on July 6, 2021 at 9:46 PM
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I had to fire one of mine because it was like pulling teeth to communicate with her, getting her dress info, etc. She struggles with anxiety and I’ve known her 5 years and understands distance is how she copes with it but at some point I had to quit putting my other girls (and vendors) on hold so we could keep moving forward. I hated doing it but I felt like I couldn’t move on with finalizing details since we’re only a couple months away now. I just sent her a message very basically saying “hey, I understand and I’m always here for you, but with important deadlines coming up I feel it’s best to continue to move forward without you.” Your friendship doesn’t have a deadline and you have all the time in the world to resolve your issues, but your wedding (hopefully) only comes once and you’ll be so busy you’ll want to cherish every second you can get. The rest of the world can go on pause for you on your big day so it’s most important to trust yourself and to save yourself the stress if you feel it’s the right thing to do. Good luck, and I hope this helps!
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Beginner April 2022
Ronique · on July 6, 2021 at 9:56 PM
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I could only imagine how you must of felt firing a bridesmaid. Thank you for your awesome advice, queen! I really appreciate it!
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