Hoping to get some insight as to what I should do on this crazy matter. This will be a long post describing 3 separate situations for 3 bridesmaids I am inclined to "fire" I know some people don't like that term, but it is what it is. You know what I mean. I fully intend not to require my bridal party to attend anything except the Wedding itself and Rehearsal dinner. Everything else is optional and I am just blessed to have any of them there in the first place.
Originally, after we got engaged, I had asked my sister to be MOH, 6 girls to be bridesmaids, and 1 bridesman to also be officiant. We were going to do a local wedding and then covid hit and we had to cancel/postpone the wedding due to financial issues and obviously the world was crashing and burning. Now we have decided to have a destination wedding in summer of 2022! Yay! Our finances are back in order and we can afford to pay for the wedding without family help (also big yay!) Now here's the situation:
1 bridesmaid was a coworker whom I had just started working with and I thought we would be great friends (I know I'm really kicking myself on this one, I shouldn't have asked her *rolls eyes*) because lo and behold, she was not a great person to include and I don't even want to invite her. We technically work together for the same company but not in the same office and probably won't see her at work but on rare occasions. I feel like the best way to go about this one is to let her know that since now we are doing a destination wedding, we are cutting down on wedding party and guests overall, and apologize. It will NOT eat me up inside to do this, but if there is a better way to do it, I'd love the advice!
I will kick this one off to the bridesman/officiant because DRAMA. Also he lives with the 3rd bridesmaid and all 3 of us were friends in college and had the same major so were in the same bestie group 4 years ago. Of course when I got engaged I wouldn't dream of not having them there by my side! So of course I asked them to be a part of my bridal party. They were the type of friends I didn't talk to or see much after college, but when we got together it was like we never were apart. But honestly as we are getting older and "discovering ourselves" (yay adulthood) we have been kind of drifting apart. Not sure if that's just me feeling it or just the vibe, but either way I was happy to include them at the time. So now fast forward, toward the beginning of this pandemic like right before it hit, he and I had a falling out and he wanted NO part of the wedding. It really sucked and made me sad and honestly was hard for me to get over, but with the pandemic hitting, no one could see anyone and I got over it and we had a long conversation about the whole thing and it ended civil but just that. I could tell it was the end of the friendship I used to know, and I was fine with it because I wasn't a fan of who he was becoming. Reminder that he lives with this other bridesmaid whom I was also friends with. She's more quiet and reserved, but they live together and basically in my mind come as a package. She did invite me (felt like a last min invite) to come over to their place because our other friend was coming up to visit and I thought you know what this might be a good opportunity to hang out with them and move on. (this was a few months ago and I felt it was safe to go covid wise) So I went. At the time I thought they both knew I was coming but when I got there, he was surprised to see me and did the whole awkward "oh it's so nice to see you" bit that was clearly fake. Didn't really converse with me once everyone else got there. It's fine. I felt so awkward and couldn't wait to go home. It just felt like I was in a place where I wasn't wanted and it was just awkward. Neither of them have reached out since and I know I obviously don't want him in the party (I mean he was clear about not wanting to be a part of it) but what tugs at my heart more is my other friend. I mean at this point I just feel obligated to keep her in the wedding party, but I know I will be happier if she wasn't there because of how uncomfortable I felt and we don't talk anyway.
This is where I need advice on how to go about the situation and what to do. If you've made it to the end here, I applaud you and thank for taking the time!
Recap, it's going to be a destination wedding and requires a big commitment on bridal party, and need advice on how to essentially "fire" 3 bridesmaids for various reasons. Should I? I just don't really know how to go about it.
