First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes The Baby Carriage... Right?

View Quoted Comment Don't worry, leading up to my wedding I learned a lot about my "family and friends". Not everyone is who they say they are, pay attention to people's actions. Based on what your telling me there are some major red flags.

We’re going to start the process right away because my fiancée and I are adopting! We both really want kids and the adoption process can take such a long time, so as soon as we’re married we are going to start.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. Adoption is definitely on our list of options if we cannot have children naturally.

Take your time with it. You and your husband will have children when you are ready. Do not allow people to tell you what you should and should not do.

My mindset was that of yours, now I feel like I want to start right away. My FH and I want don't want to be an at-risk pregnancy and we are pushing it since we want 2-3 kids.

Everyone’s situation is different. Some couples don’t want children at all.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. My husband and I are getting older as well.

Wait til the time is right for both of you. I want to start trying shortly after we get married as we are not getting any younger.

We thought we’re gonna wait a few years to give us time to get established buuuuut here we are. I just found out that I’m pregnant and my wedding is in 5 months..

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. Congrats on the baby and future marriage! My mom used to say if you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans. We can plan all we like but God has the final say.

I agree with you. FH and I are personally going to wait two to three years before we start trying. There’s a few things left we want to do before we have a child. (One of which is buy a house lol!) I genuinely think there is no wrong answer, but it’s what works best for each couple. I know couples who have been married 3-5 years before they had children, and I know couples that had babies within their first year of marriage. Only you guys know what’s best for you.

It's personally until you feel it's right for the both of you. FH and I arent getting married until next year and have been together for almost 9 years. Family has always bothered us about pushing babies out. I'm a bit firm so I always respond with "you want a baby, go have one yourself" and that shuts them up. Haha, of course I don't respond like that to the elders. For them I just say we have our plans and have decided on babies at 34. I'm 30 right now. They understand. Don't worry about others. It's your world now with your Husband. You both make your decisions.

This is definitely dependent on the couple. Financially, mentally, logistically and even health-wise.

FH and I are finanically ready, but we are waiting until we move into a house that will be a more practical size for having children; we also know that since I have endometriosis I may have trouble conceiving, so we aren't going to wait more than a couple years to begin trying, especially since we want two or three children. Its also common that couples don't feel mentally ready, my FH has expressed this once or twice but said that he thinks he will be okay, he just isn't used to babies and has very little experience, whereas I have worked in childcare in various capacities for almost 8 years and have a plethora of cousins with babies.

I agree with everyone posting their responses and I love that everyone is so supportive of it being the couple's choice. My fiance and I have been together 10 years ( we are almost 30) we want to wait a few years ( 2-3 years)until we get married ( know money and such issues) so I think we might start trying right after the wedding, because by then I'll be 32+ and want a few kids. I keep on getting asked when are you guys getting married? When are you guys going to have kids?

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. Yes I agree with everyone as well. We plan to try around the year 2021.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. I am in the process of getting my third degree so once I finish that we will go house hunting and start the baby making process.

Every couple is different. There is no overall right time, except when you feel ready, and have enough money and time to care and provide for the baby's needs. . . Nobody, not family, nit friends, not people army work, should be commenting or giving their ideas of what is right for you. It is downright rude to discuss private things like a couple's sex life or reproduction, giving outside opinions of what is nobody's business, but the couple involved. Unfortunately, lots of people do not get it that private info is not subject to public discussion, and repeatedly push the subject. And you need to cut it off, and politely but firmly say, this is something husband and I will decide for ourselves, with no input from others, as it is nobody's business but ours.Then smile and change the subject. . . Your plan is good for you. Some people do have children before they have really solidified their own marriage. And no bones about it, one you start having children, their are years when you have a minimum of time that is not planned around them. Like a giant black hole that sucks up all your time and resources. We only met 14 months before we married, and moved in together when we got engaged, 5 months before the wedding. So I feel it was a goid thing we waited 3 years to start a family. But people who marry after 6-8 years together my be ready any time. Just do not let others invade your privacy. Because if you allow moms and family ir friends to do it, they will also have opinions on how far apart they should be spaced, when you should have more and how many, and it will go on for years. Set boundaries: This is an area where we will start the conversation if we have something we want to share. But otherwise, our sex life, children, finances and other personal things are not up for discussion. Or gossip behind our back, most especially social media.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. I appreciate all of your suggestions.

We're not waiting long, but I'm already 41, so time isn't on our side. Plus, my FH is a single father, so we won't have alone married time anyway. No point in waiting.

Strongly depends on the couple. If all goes well Fiance and I will both be finishing our education a few weeks before our wedding, we wouldn't be in a financially, or emotionally, responsible spot to have children even though we love children.
We also aspire to adopt and that whole process could take 3-10 years, we've already given a pretty firm talk to our families that they should refrain from asking because we have such a long lead time on this.
I think overall people get excited and assume you'll have children right away. I think it's better to enjoy at least a year of marriage before having a child, you need to function as a married couple before you can function as a strong parent team in my opinion.