First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes The Baby Carriage... Right?

I think that's upon preference of financial stability and where the couple is in life. I am rather young so I'd like to live a little more and have more alone time with my fiance before we have one. So I've told people I don't yet want to decide if we even want a kid til another five or so years from now.

I would say taking a little time to enjoy being a couple to make that foundation even stronger is important.

We have an 8 year old at home and my fiancee has 3 grown children. I can tell you that "your " time will be nonexistent.... You will be on kid time(even when they are grown) 24/7
Alot of people fall into the mindset that kids come first and the relationship suffers. I believe the marriage is the centerpiece that keeps the whole family together.

Kids need to grow up learning that their parents value their relationship, because that's what they will base theirs on even if they don't realize it.

It's all in God's timing anyway, but I think a few years to settle into marriage is ok. ❤

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I think you make a great point. Financial stability is definitely important before having a baby.

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I love your thought process! I definitely want us to build a strong foundation as husband and wife before we can become mom and dad.

I HATE hearing this from people! It is so annoying! We have only been married a month tomorrow and we are getting this question as well! Its none of people's business! When people ask me I just say "when we are ready" because that is such a personal question. People need to know its not ok to ask! We are planning on waiting at LEAST 3 years to even start thinking about having kids. Life is just too hectic right now and we want to spend a few years just us before we through babies into the mix!

Definitely a personal issue. We want kids sometime next year but it is a huge financial responsibility. We have friends who had kids before marriage, we had friends wait years after marriage. It is absolutely no ones business or decision other than your own.

Courtnee do what’s best for you guys! Allowing outside influences to dictate yalls life will only cause resentment within yalls marriage. They don’t have to make the marriage work nor raise the child, y’all do. Don’t let society interrupt your plans or your peace. Decide what’s best for y’all between you two and stick with it unashamedly!

View Quoted Comment ❤❤❤❤ it's definitely important , it's the glue that makes the family stick together, in my opinion.

We will wait at least 2 years, possibly closer to 4 years. I'm still in school and probably wont be COMPLETELY done with school and settled in my career for another 4 years. The in-laws are already making comments about how they can't wait to finally become grandparents. (They became parents later in life so they have a sense of urgency that I don't have.) I get where they are coming from but this will be mine and my fiance's child and if we don't have the time or aren't ready we aren't going to have a kid just because others want us to.

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I know you mean well, but saying something like that is hurtful to adopted children and makes them feel like they're a consolation prize or backup plan. I've heard people say to parents of adopted children "so when are you having a real baby?"

Not blaming you at all...just pointing out that this kind of language is really common and problematic.

View Quoted Comment Your entitled to your opinion but that is my truth.

We plan on waiting until about **** before we start trying we both want to travel and focus on each other before we start bringing little ones into it. FH’s brother and wife started trying on their wedding night, so it really depends on the person and the couple!

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In that case, I hope you never "need" to adopt a baby as a back up plan. No one deserves to feel like a fallback option.

We thought we would try right away since we are not getting any younger and age plays a part into "high risk"...... Not thinking I'd get pregnant right away... our first baby is due the day after our 9 month anniversary (or 1 month from Sunday lol) 🤷‍♀️

However long you want! If you feel that you're financially stable enough and you want to have babies, have them! If you aren't stable enough or don't want them yet (or just want one on one time with your partner) then give yourself all the time you need.

It just depends me and my FH wanted to wait but we just recently found out we are expecting 😬 and i don’t get married for another 5 months

Whether a couple wants to wait or start having children right away is their prerogative. If they don't want to have children of their own is also their choice. A couple can start trying for children as soon as they are ready. The only real time limit we have anymore is menopause.

View Quoted Comment This is really solid advice. My FH and I are on the fence about having kids at all, and I think we should maybe start by seeing if we're even physically capable of doing so. I mean, it would make the decision a lot easier if we found out one of us may have struggles...

Of course it can be whenever the couple decided it’s going to be different for everyone.

However, I’m the type who believes that each phase is a new and different change in life to experience and get used to... meeting, dating, engagement, marriage, children, etc. When I was married the first time, my ex-husband and I did not jump and have children right away. Marriage is a very different phase from dating or engagement. So, it was a big new step for us to get used to. Therefore, we wanted to spend that time getting used to that new time in our life before bringing children into it. And, in my case, I thank God that we did.

I think it’s different for everyone. There is no “right time” it’s whenever each couple is ready! If for you that means two years than that’s the right time for you. For my fh and I we will start making babies around our 1 year anniversary as I’m still going to be in nursing school still for the first 6 months of our marriage.