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Beginner April 2023

First look, private ceremony

Anabelle, on May 4, 2022 at 3:39 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 5

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Hi, I'm struggling to know what to do for the ceremony part of our wedding. I always thought we'd elope and then have a party with everyone after. We booked a reception venue as they also offer the ceremony for free with any reception package. I then realised we need 2 witnesses to legally marry. My mum was upset when I said we were going to do a private ceremony (to emulate the elopement I've always envisioned). So then we thought maybe immediate family to the ceremony. As you can imagine, that becomes problematic and then before you know it the whole family will probably be included (which is almost half the gueslist of 50ppl). I'm unsure what to do as I really still want that intimate feel but I also know my family would be so happy to be at the ceremony. I just don't want to do personal vows in front of people and feel a bit anxious to do the ceremony in general in front of too many ppl. I don't want it to take away that the day is about my fiance and I. So now I'm looking into first look for the intimate vows and calming of nerves. With maybe a private ceremony with immediate and/or extended family. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on May 6, 2022 at 5:54 PM

Super March 2022
JA · on May 4, 2022 at 7:54 AM
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The BEST choice we made was getting married privately before the wedding. Our 2 best friends were there as our witnesses and we read each other our personal vows and exchanged rings. Then signed the papers and went out for dinner. It was perfect.

On the Wedding day, we did a pretty standard short ceremony, but honestly it was more for other people and I would've been fine without it. At that one there was a welcome, a short reading, repeating the standard vows to each other, redo the ring exchange, and that was basically it.
My family was completely fine with us getting married beforehand, but my husband's family threw a fit about it and tried to guilt trip my husband into waiting to get married until everyone was there. Despite their reactions, we are both so so happy we did something that was private and truly just for us.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on May 5, 2022 at 9:59 AM
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Set your boundaries. You are about to start a new family with your spouse. You both want to elope, therefore, getting married twice for others is nonsensical. Plus, if you tier your wedding and have reception-only guests, you will still have hurt feelings. But, at least they won't be yours. Good luck.
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Beginner April 2023
Anabelle · on May 6, 2022 at 12:45 AM
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That's beautiful! Yeah I really want that private moment as well! I think perhaps the first look with vows could be a nice option for us to have that intimate part solo and then do the traditional ceremony after with either just family or everyone, depending how comfortable I feel lol thanks!
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Beginner April 2023
Anabelle · on May 6, 2022 at 12:47 AM
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Haha very true. I think perhaps first look and vows for just us then ceremony family only and reception for all hopefully would be fine. I can't see people getting upset who aren't family not being invited to the ceremony if its family only???
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