First looks

Could you add a "cocktail hour" even if its not for the full hour? That way you won't miss an hour of your reception?

View Quoted Comment We were originally going to do a cocktail hour but instead we are going to do late night snacks when the reception is ending because it’s destination and everything food wise on the island closes at like 9:30 and everyone will be drinking.

I agree with Yasmine. Is there a specific reason why you aren't doing a cocktail hour? If not, I agree that adding one would help so you don't miss an hour from your reception.

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I like the late night snack idea! Would your timeline allow ya'll to have both though? As a guest I'd like to have something to snack on before we get dinner at the reception, and while we're waiting for you to finish up with photos.

View Quoted Comment Our budget will only let us do one or the other. And we are doing a strolling reception so there will be stations inside the solarium and there will be servers passing hors d’oeuvres. My aunt did a first look and loved it and my mom didn’t but wished that she had. What are y’all planning to do ?

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I gotcha! Then food wise it wouldn't be a problem which is good!

We're doing a first look! Our photographer suggested it so we could get as many photos as we could out of the way so we could enjoy our cocktail hour with our guests! We've had several friends do one, and they've all loved it. Our concern was how 'special' the first look down the aisle would feel, but they've all said that doing a first look didn't take anything away from that feeling you get walking down the aisle.

It helps a lot with nerves, and it's nice to have a quiet moment together before the ceremony. FBIL and his wife used their first look to read their letters to one another out loud, which was really sweet!

I’m team first look for a few reasons.
1. I know that in front of everyone seeing me the first time I am never going to get a “genuine” reaction. I am going to get the camera smile and him trying to look calm and composed in front of everyone. He spoke with his friends who did not do first look they all said the same thing, there is too much happening to really appreciate it. If it’s just us he can be focused and real and we can have a moment of just us

2. You can barely do any pictures besides you and your bridesmaids before. So yes you would have to do the ones of you guys after but then you’d also have to do all the pictures of you 2 and the wholeBridal party and you 2 with the families. So that’s most of your pictures and I don’t see how they would do all the shots you’d like in an hour.
If you can’t do the cocktail hour but have your heart set on not doing a first look then there isn’t really another option the. To miss your reception. I just can’t imagine spending as much money as I did on a party that I miss part of.

View Quoted Comment That’s so true. Thank you so much! I think we are going to do the first look

I think you have 2 options here: add a cocktail hour or do a first look and get pictures out of the way before your ceremony. I would personally recommend doing the first look!

We're doing a first look for some of the reasons listed above. I would rather have that moment of seeing each other in private first, just because of nerves and I don't think it'll take anything away from walking down the aisle. We also want our cocktail hour and reception to be fun and we want to enjoy those with our guests, so we don't want to be out taking tons of pictures and missing that.

We didn't do a first look - H didn't want to see me before I walked down the aisle. He absolutely had a genuine reaction. We talked about it before and he indicated he might not have much of a reaction in front of everyone. Some of my favorite pictures are of him crying when he saw me coming down the aisle. However - we did a cocktail hour, so we didn't miss any of the reception while we did pictures. Pictures only took an hour.

You have to decide what's important to the two of you - not seeing each other (and missing some of your reception) or being at the entire reception (and having the first look) - and this is one you have to agree on.