First Ob/gyn appointment terrified

If it helps, I have never had a negative experience. I think it will be beneficial if you can relax during it. Getting worked up probably contributes to a negative experience, at least in a small way. So anything you can do to relax will help.

Don't worry - it's fine. I have no idea why your friends have such horror stories. As everyone else has said, it is a bit uncomfortable but not painful. The pap smear is the worst part and that takes all of 5 seconds. It's awkward and strange if you've never been before, but really try not to get too worked up. You can ask your doctor to warm up the speculum - that always helps.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your responses! This is honestly such a weirdly terrifying thing for me (add that to the stack of “virgin’s worries,” I guess?) and every time I think about scheduling an appointment I feel like I’m going to throw up just from nerves!

I didnt know the tip about the smaller speculum, but that seems so smart! I’ve never even used tampons in my life, so I don’t exactly have any experience with anything being inserted at all. Something plastic or metal that goes up that far isn’t exactly my favorite mental picture to contemplate when even tampons sound awful. Haha!

I've been going for quite some time and the only bad experience I had was getting an IUD in lol. Those things hurt! A PAP isn't bad. It's not the funnest thing in the world and it's a bit awkward but I have a female gyno which makes me feel much more comfortable and she makes it really easy. I have literally no pain tolerance and it just feels like a quick little pinch. Think of it like a stress test for your lady parts. It's quick and only feels something for a moment.

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The PP who suggested using a mirror to look down their has a good point. It might make you feel more comfortable to see exactly where they'll be working before you go.

I saw a male doctor at first as a virgin and didn't like it. I wanted someone who knew what it was like so switched to a female doctor who could do a pap and be my regular doctor at the same time and am grateful I did.

It’ll be tooootally fine. Make sure the doctor is aware that you have a few nerves, so he/she can take it extra slow. Now I don’t know if you wear tampons, but getting a Pap smear should be not much more uncomfortable then putting a tampon in. If you’re nervous about there being a painful perforation of your hymen, you’ll be happy to know that even women who have not had sex before generally have perforated hymens! Just from regular activity. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen is not like a piece of plastic wrap over a bowl, it’s more like a partial membrane covering on most people that just needs to be stretched a bit. There is no “popping”

Please don’t base your expectations off people’s bad experiences! It’s a little awkward the first time around but it’s really not bad. I’ve been seeing a gyno since I was 16 and I go every year. Just tell them that it’s your first time, and they will be more than understanding. Remember to try to relax!

My ob/gyns have always been super awesome. It’ll be okay! They usually talk with you as they’re doing a pelvic and it’s a good distraction, I don’t even really notice what they’re doing at this point. And they always say “you’ll feel pressure here” “my finger here” or whatever they’re doing so nothing is ever a surprise.

I hope u aren’t too scared. I’m a virgin too and have had several gyno appts. It’s never hurt even with all the horror stories I’ve heard! I hope it goes well.

Have you read the book “Our Bodies, Ourselves”? If not, I highly recommend it, not just for this issue but for all issues relating to having a vagina.
To answer your question though, I’ve never had a great experience but I’ve also never had a horrible one.
I would recommend that when you first go in, tell the technician who will do your pre appointment stuff (height, weight, medical history etc) that it is your first time and you are nervous. You should feel comfortable sharing your concerns with the doctor performing your exam too. If you think it would help, you can tell the dr you would like them to tell you everything they are going to do before they do it. Some will automatically do this if they know it is your first time and you are nervous, but some might so it is worth saying it aloud to make your experience better.
Do not be afraid to ask the dr what they are doing or tell them when something hurts or if anything they are doing is making you uncomfortable. An important thing to remember is that you have the right to end your appointment at any time if you are having a bad experience with the dr or with the procedure (not that I think you will, but just in case you do, you should know you have options).
Lastly, try to relax. Go in with the understanding that the exam is uncomfortable and awkward (I don’t know a whole lot of other times I’m spread eagle in front of a stranger) but this is an incredibly important preventative measure to avoiding much more invasive procedures in the future.
Sorry that was so long lol oops

Also, if you have any questions, don’t assume that you will remember to ask them during your appointment. WRITE THEM DOWN and bring them with you to the appointment so you can be sure all of your questions are answered to your satisfaction.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, so if you want to know something make sure you ask!

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All of this!

I'm a NICU RN and many of our parents actually interview pediatricians before they pick the one for their family. Do some research and find someone that LISTENS to you and that you feel comfortable with. It may cost you some time and co-pays to visit with some, but I think it's always best to meet someone before they're seeing you naked. If you have a close friend/sibling that you'd be comfortable with being there, that's an option too. Sometimes just holding the hand of someone you know helps tremendously.

Total side note as well: do not be afraid to change doctors. Ever. For any specialty. If you have a not-so-great experience, seek out another doctor for the next one (and have your records sent there).

You got this!

Relax.

You don't want to tense up.

My first visit was not painful. Uncomfortable, yes, but not painful.

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It also may be helpful to practice some deep breathing before/during your appointment. It's not likely to hurt either way, but if you're tense/tightening up it's more likely to hurt. Do your best to relax however you can while it's happening, and remind yourself that the exam itself is usually less than a minute.

I was in the same boat as you until last year when I got a new doctor who is also an ob gyn and she said I was past due and needed to get it done. I was really nervous and hated the idea of going but in the end it was fine and uneventful- a little uncomfortable but if you just relax and remember she does this all the time and isn't there to judge you, you'll be fine. It doesn't hurt and doesn't even take very long, no need to be stressed.

I'm currently at the gyno for my yearly. Girl it's so intimidating the first time but it's a breeze! Literally just some pressure but nothing bad at all. I agree with previous posts, the all the doctor you are a virgin and this is your first pap and they will talk you through it. It becomes just one of those things you have to do and you just dont think about it anymore.

Get a doctor you like personally. That’s it. Mine didn’t do anything too bad until I was personally acquainted with her (and even then it’s not so bad). I’ve sent so many friends to my doctor because she made me feel comfortable. It makes all the difference.

I've only had positive experiences with OB/GYN aside from the occasional lectures on seeking a tubal ligation "too young."

Can you start with just a consult? I had my first OB appointment at 15 and was freaking tf out. Our first appointment we just talked. He was so nice and informative. He was professional when I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing an actual exam. After the first appointment I rescheduled with him and did an actual exam a month later. He was super quick and efficient. As dumb as it sounds, i went to him for two years after I moved away because i wasn't sure I was going to be comfortable with someone else. I ended up finding a great doctor up here who I heavily researched online. He helped me with the removal of my first IUD and told me stupid jokes to keep me from passing out from the pain.

Do some research about your doctor. It may help you ease the anxiety if you know you both went to the same college or they are from the same city or something like that.

Omg, girl going to the gyno shouldn't ever be a big deal! Ask around - talk to family and friends and get some recommendations. I love my gyno, and she has never, ever hurt me! She makes the experience as painless and comfortable as possible, every time.