Flower girl and ring bearer

I skipped the flower girl and ring bearer entirely! We just had the rings with the best man

We had neither a flower girl nor a ring bearer because we had one nephew who was too old (9, nearly 10) and one who was too young (11 months) and no nieces. No one missed having a flower girl and ring bearer. The best man held both rings until it was time, then handed them to the officiant.

We are also having an adult only wedding and we are just eliminating the flower girl and ring bearer roles. I didn’t want to deal with drama or hurt feelings (or people silently harboring bitterness) for some kids being able to attend and not others. Plus, kids don’t enjoy weddings full of adults- it would be boring for just 2 kids to be at a wedding. And we didn’t want those kids’ parents to be the only ones not able to enjoy an adult evening out because they have to watch/entertain their children. Either that, or they would have to go out of their way to leave after the ceremony and drive their children home to be watched by a sitter, then drive back to the venue. It just seems like a lot of work and hassle for multiple people just to have 2 children walk down an aisle for 30 seconds. I’ve been to lots of weddings without a FG or RB and no one missed it at all.

I'm also skipping having a flower girl or ring bearer to avoid any drama. The best man will have both of the rings.

Skipping on both. Not having kids at the wedding at all. Same as pp, best man will have rings.

Yes! I could never choose between the little ppl in my family and my FH's family. Kids can be very sensitive and remember things for years. I still remember my aunt choosing my younger sister to be a flower girl and not me. I was 7 and my sister was 5. Also, my grandma got married when I was 8 and had her son's girlfriend's daughter be the flower girl and not me. Broke my heart. .

I also wouldnt want kids at the wedding at all. Many kids these days have parents who have trouble watching them consistently and/or disciplining them. I can remember several weddings where kids would dip their hands in the cake or food when their parents weren't watching. Made me not want to eat the food after that

Generally, kids in the wedding party (i.e. flower girl or ring bearer) are the exception to adult-only weddings. We had an adult-only wedding with our 2 nieces as flower girls, and they were the exception to the rule since they were in the wedding. I've also been to countless other adult-only weddings where the kids in the wedding party were the only ones allowed to attend. I think it is pretty standard to make an exception for flower girls and ring bearers and otherwise have an adult-only wedding. I don't think it's considered rude to make an exception for kids who are in the wedding party.

We skipped a flower girl and ring bearer. We had an adult only wedding and wanted it to be a true adult only event. Those with children enjoyed the night off.

We won't be having either of them.

We’re having a no children ceremony & reception- the only kids that will be there are my future sister in law’s kids which will be the flower girl & ring bearer. We’ve told all our friends & family that this is what we want. We told them that this is a perfect date night opportunity!

Having a flower girl and ring bearer is completely optional, but given that you are extremely upset because you want your niece and nephew to be a part of your wedding then I would have them be your flower girl and ring bearer. Any children in the wedding are generally considered an exception to the one adults rule. We had a ring bearer (3 at the time), two flower girls (5 & 7 at the time) and an usher/helped ring bearer down the aisle (15 at the time) in our wedding. They are all siblings and really wanted them in the wedding. Otherwise we said no children and no one said a thing.

We aren't having them either! We don't really have anyone who would fit the bill and I didn't really want kids in the wedding.

I want an adult only wedding, sadly with my future husband being close with his nieces and nephews its not going to happen. I want to skip the flower girl and ring bearer all together to avoid the favoritism accusation from his parents, grandparents and brother since we would pick the oldest kids who happen to be his sisters children who he is closer to. We thought about hiring someone to watch the kids during the ceremony at least but I don't know.

Many weddings skip them without any replacement and they're not missed. A ringbearer doesn't carry real rings anyway. Also people do find it to be rude for the flower/ring children or the couple's children to be the only kids in attendance while everyone else is asked to get childcare. Be consistent with everyone.

Well there’s absolutely no need for a flower girl or ring bearer , so it’s fine to just skip them. But, if you really want your niece and nephew in your wedding, you should have them. My own neice and nephew is such a different relationship than say, my coworker’s kid. People should understand and if they don’t, that’s their problem.


We had an adults only wedding, and my niece (the only niece or nephew for us at the time) was the only exception. She was our “flower girl” (even though it was just a title— she couldn’t walk yet, my brother and SIL just carried her down the aisle). No one batted an eye. I think an exception for kids in the bridal party is fair and I think an exception for kids only in the immediate family is fair. If it’s important to you for them to be a part of your wedding, have them be a part of your wedding.

I'm in the same boat! I definitely want an adult reception only with the exception of ring bearer and flower girl allowed to be there. If you consider the fact most kids don't want adult food and it's a waste of money on the plate you have to buy. For my flower girl and ring bearer I made sure they weren't picky and would actually eat food.

I totally think having them is optional, and in all likelihood (unless FSIL has kids before we get married) we'll have an adults-only wedding. I do think it's tricky to invite some kids and not all, even if the only invited kids are in the wedding party. I understand that you are close with some kids and not with others, but I agree with your FH that there's bound to be drama. Ultimately if you have a thick skin and can shake off any comments that do come your way, I say have them in the bridal party and don't invite anyone else's kids if that's what makes you happy.

That said, if you WANT a flower girl and ring bearer and don't know any kids - you can employ adults in the role. FH's father and his wife had an adult flower girl and she really hammed up the role. If you are having a formal affair it probably wouldn't work, but if you're casual people and are able to laugh at yourselves it was pretty amusing!

We're only having children of our immediate families attend. FH's side of the wedding party are all his brothers, and all of my family lives in other countries, so that's why we made this choice.

However, we aren't having a fl or rb because honestly, don't see a point lol. We're just letting the best man (FH's dad), carry the rings in his jacket pocket.

If you just want the role filled, adult fgs and rbs are becoming a thing now! I've seen tons of hilarious videos of adult fgs and rbs committing to the role, so that would be a fun option!