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Just Said Yes October 2022

Flower Girl, Ring Bearer, Jr. Bridesmaid/groomsman?

Allison, on June 11, 2022 at 11:32 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5
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So my FH has one nephew (11) and three nieces (9, 7 and 4). We want them all included in our wedding. My FH said his nephew could be ring bearer and carry a fake pillow with fake rings... I tried expressing to him that a ring bearer is usually very young and his nephew is almost a teenager and not a baby who could potentially lose rings. I suggested making him a junior groomsman but my FH declined that idea. I think flower girl would be great for the 7 and 4 year old to do, but the 9 year old I'm unsure. If we were going the junior groomsman/bridesmaid route I would absolutely ask her... but she has a lot of anxiety and health problems so I don't know if she would be comfortable wearing a dress I pick out or standing up there with me...


Any advice or suggestions?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.evans, on June 14, 2022 at 11:25 PM
  • Imani
    Master July 2022
    Imani ·
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    If she has health problems and anxiety I wouldn’t recommend you asking her. It should be okay with the 4 & 7 year old. However, you can still ask her and see what she says. As far as the fake rings, I agree with you, he’s 11. He should be okay walking down the aisle with the rings on the pillow. I don’t see that being an issue.
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  • Sloane
    Super May 2022
    Sloane ·
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    I let my mom hold the rings we wanted them included in the ceremony.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    First of all, three flower girls is perfectly fine. I've seen weddings with three and in one case even nine flower girls. But it sounds like you should ask the oldest niece what she wants to do and what she's comfortable with. She is old enough to decide for herself.


    I agree that the 11-year-old nephew is old enough to carry the real rings. I think that age is still OK to be a ring bearer, but again, you should ask him first so he doesn't feel like he's being assigned a little kid's role.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    For the older ones, I would ask them how they would like to participate. The 11 year old might want to be an usher or have some other role. If the 9 year old has anxiety, she want want to have a lower key role.

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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Has he spoken to the nephew and asked him if that's what he wanted to be a ringer bearer. I think that your right and for the 9 yrs old speak to her mom about it. To see if it would be too much for her before assigning her a role in the wedding. So your FH need to talk with his siblings first. Because now says kids wanted a different role than the baby job they will say. Good luck
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