Flower girls and getting ready

This is why small children and destination weddings don’t mix well. We had a destination wedding, and did not bring my FH’s son for this reason. If you absolutely insist on having a DW, and absolutely insist on bringing the child, I would suggest hiring and bringing along a dedicated person to watch her (a cousin, friend, nanny, etc.). Having a three year old cooped up in a room all day long with no playtime or stimulation is likely going to lead to a meltdown at the wedding itself. Which is going to leave you on baby duty at your own wedding; or even worse, you being a poor host by expecting your guests to tend to her. Your mother, along with everyone else who is spending a lot of money to travel for your event, should not be used as free daycare.

View Quoted Comment Hi. Thanks for your reply. I would be in the same situation if I had a “at home wedding” too. So with it being destination- doesn’t make much difference.
Unfortunately there is no one to hire as we have a small family so no cousins and our close friends are those who are attending. Only my parents are around as my fiancés parents are no longer with us. I don’t expect free daycare from family - I was just wondering about options to make it work.
I know she is our daughter and our responsibility and we have looked after her from day one by ourselves with no supports (my family also live in another country). So leaving her behind wouldn’t be an option (and we would never leave her as she is our family). I can look into nanny options but unsure if this would work if she’s never met them etc. I most likely expect to be on “baby duty” as she’s our child and this is life. I was just wondering if people had advice or tips if they have been in similar situations in how to make it work.

View Quoted Comment I would definitely look into the nanny option. If that’s not possible, perhaps you could make a schedule where one (or more) of your friends or family members could split time watching her while you are busy. For example, maybe a friend who is not getting hair and makeup done could take her to an attraction in the area (zoo, aquarium, playground, out for ice cream, etc.) while you have hmu done.

I would look at hiring a nanny to be with your daughter somewhere close to you while you get ready.

Kiera, is it possible to coordinate some "Grandpa" time for your daughter the morning of your wedding? You get ready while daughter is with Grandpa. When he returns to get ready, you and your family are ready to get her ready. He could take her out to breakfast or lunch, or even to a park. If it's timed right, she could possibly get a nap before getting ready.


Yes, there will be posters who push back at this idea. I am simply trying to present you with an option that may work for you.

View Quoted Comment Ooo yes. Thankyou so much.
I will speak to my dad and see if he is open to sharing grandma and grandpa special time with her the morning of getting ready.

This is a lovely suggestion.

Our flower girl was my husband's 6 year old cousin. His aunt dropped her off at the getting ready location at some point in the morning (she was the last one getting hair done, so she didn't have to be there right away) and she had orange juice in her custom cup I made her and breakfast and she rode with us to the venue. We didn't really have a destination wedding, but we did have our flower girl with the girls for the majority of the getting ready time.