Flower Girls

How old is the niece? If she's a baby then I think it's OK because she won't feel hurt or even remember. Or you could coordinate their outfits like same dress, different color sash.

View Quoted Comment She’ll be 6. My girls will be 4 and 5

View Quoted Comment A 6-year-old does not need to be pulled in a wagon. I would let her walk with the other girls or she might feel left out.

Woops, I read too fast! She'll be the one pulling the wagon. I think that would be cute, but I would still try to make sure your daughter's outfits aren't prettier or somehow "better" than hers to avoid hurt feelings

I think the issue you are more likely to run into is your niece or even your daughters wanting the dress the other one has. Children around this age want what the other one has so personally I would have them in the same dress that way there wouldn't be any fighting over dresses the day of the wedding.

View Quoted Comment That’s very true! can you think of any way I can make them stand out more without having different dresses?

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, I think anything you would try to do your niece could potentially be jealous of.

You could give your daughters some kind of headbands or hair pieces/bows?

I agree with Veronica on this. If your daughters wear a special dress, you run the risk of your niece being very jealous. While I like AJ's suggestion of headbands or hair pieces/bows, I think you'd still run the risk of your niece wondering why they have one, but she doesn't. For our wedding, I am making sure our two flower girls (my husband's nieces who are sisters) have the exact same attire because there have been past situations where one girl was given one gift and the other was given something different and the two girls fought over the gifts because they were jealous of what the other had. I don't feel like dealing with that on my wedding day.

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You could just have your daughters as your flower girls and then plan to take special portraits with your niece and nephew as a way to include them. That way, they don't need matching outfits.

I agree that this is kind of all or nothing. If you want them to be extra special, have them be the only ones. If you want to include everyone, treat them equally. It may not be perfectly what you want, but those really are the best options.

Just to chime in, I think it's totally fine to put your kids in different attire. They should feel special about their role... They're your children! It's *their* mommy who is getting married, not their cousins mom.


I personally wouldn't worry too much about any jealousy with your niece and nephew. For one thing, a 6 year old is perfectly capable of understanding that the joyous occasion is not about them (just like going to a birthday party for a friend). It's also pretty easy at that age to hype kids up about some other "cool" perk, little the niece being the "big girl who gets to pull the wagon."
As to the mom, I can't imagine someone thinking that their child is as big a part of the wedding as the children of the bride.
I have 4 kids myself (and my oldest daughter was in the same situation when she was 5 ) and I would never expect my children to have the same leading role as the children of the couple getting married. And I see no problem with the children wearing different attire. Your little girls should stand out and as I said, a 6 year old should be capable of understanding that. (Worst case scenario, you can always have a special surprise bribe gift that the niece gets on her way home for being a big girl/not whining/to make her feel take special also, etc.)

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I feel the same way.