fmil party drama

I mean it does seem a little extra, but you can't accept someone's offer to throw a party to honor you and then dictate how they do it.

I understand if it seems a little overwhelming, but I really think she's just trying to do the most for you and her son. Let her run wild with this engagement party (especially if she's paying for it anyways) so you can hopefully make all the choices for your wedding without her trying to take over. If you're uncomfortable with the baby pictures or the color scheme, I would have your FH speak to her about changing those two aspects. Otherwise, it sounds like a lot of fun and very sweet of her.

Yes, this is a really good point here. If you just let her go with her over-the-top plans for the engagement party, she may be less inclined to interfere with yours and FHs plans for the wedding. It is a bit extra, I'll agree with that also. But you can just chalk it up to a sweet gesture from a woman who's last baby is getting married. She just wants it to be special. So, if you feel the need to roll your eyes, just do it when she's not looking. lol

I wouldn't say you're being ungrateful, but I think it's a nice thing she's doing so I would just let it go. If you think people will think it's extra...she's hosting, so that will kind of be on her, not you and your FH lol.

Make sure she understands that she can't go nuts on inviting people who may not be invited to the wedding (i.e., all her friends/neighbors/coworkers).

She's definitely on the extra side, but I'd try to not let it bother you. She's hosting, so she has the decision making power

I wouldn't call it super extra tbh. A collage of baby photos at that kind of thing is bare bones with the over the top party planner moms I've seen in my area! A restaurant for it might be a little much, but maybe it's just a little easier that way and they had the money to splurge for it. Restaurant = not having to pick up the house before and after, not having to cook, etc., could have just been for the ease of it! See if you have a good time, if not, now you know for future baby showers or stuff like that that if you don't like the vibe of her parties, you can ask your mom or aunt if they'll host before she gets to you so you can tell her they're taken care of, though it really does sound like a pretty normal sort of party she's throwing. Or, if you know her well enough and you know she would appreciate knowing what you want, you could choose to let her know next time collages and big parties aren't really your thing, and let her know some alternative ideas. Best of luck! Keep your night open that day so you can decompress after.

I wouldn't say you are ungrateful but i would say that a mom and her son have an unique bond and this is her baby son at that. So she wants to pull out all the stops because she loves and supports you let her. She is paying for it so just show up and enjoy yourselves. My mom went over board with my engagment party with photo booth etc but I appreciated it and it was such a hit. Between the photos and theDJ we are still talking about my party.

I understand where you are coming from feeling like she's being extra. You don't have high expectations and don't want her to go to all of the trouble. But she's excited and is probably having a blast planning this. If it's not adding anything to your wedding planning plate, I would just roll with it and enjoy how excited she is for you and FH

In my opinion, you're being ungrateful. Your FMIL is throwing you a beautiful nice party. The alternative is you get no party or your FMIL hates you, which a ton of brides deal with. I understand not wanting a big huge party, but I'm sure you'll have a ton of fun.