Food Ideas

Penny you do YOU and do your wedding how You want and how You can Affford it to BE ! People are going for YOU and to see You get married and commit you LIFE to someone... If your guests are so worried about the food and what your serving then maybe they shouldn't even be a guest at ALL

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Sarah, no guest demands a $50K wedding. And no host gets to question their guests. Wedding prices, like car prices, are what they are...but for some reason, as Celia wisely said, when it comes to weddings, some couples just refuse to accept what they'll accept at the car dealership (which is, "Your budget won't buy you that, but here's my card if your financial situation changes.").

And what is this "can't they cook?" angle? Plenty of women and men in this community can cook (in fact, there's a weekly thread devoted to recipes and cooking, and it's very popular.) You're missing the point by asking that question.

Men and women can be wonderful home cooks. Yes, they can host dinner parties, and yes, they can host holiday meals at home. What they don't pretend to be able to do is play caterer to 100 plus people at a very measured, very time restricted, very expensive event. A wedding is a wedding, and every moment of it costs the couple money -- every single moment. A dinner party for 10/12? A holiday meal for 20? The expense is over once the day arrives -- everything has been purchased. In contrast, at a wedding, a bride, or her family members, are using minutes that are being carefully measured and have a definite beginning and end, to cook and serve food. Nice...two to three expensive hours (out of five or six) with your family working instead of enjoying what should have been served to them.

Comparing a dinner party or a holiday meal to serving 100 guests at a wedding reception is just absurd.

There will always be brides who think this self-catering thing is wonderful (and cheap). Rock on...and deal with whatever happens. But, there are plenty of couples who may be toying with the idea, and, by chance, are lurking and reading the reasonable responses authored by the majority. Because of that, there is every possibility that these couples will understand why they shouldn't cut out the caterer in order to keep their food costs down and their guest lists up. That, I believe, is the only reason most of us keep returning to this issue whenever it pops up.

@sarahj. People can diasagree. On thing is to say that one doesn't think you should self cater bc of food safety/liability or whatever. Another thing is to be mean. What I don't agree with is calling a bride tacky or telling her that her wedding will be awful or putting her down. Disagreement doesn't need to be ugly.

Actually Sarah, there are guidelines in place to make sure that there is no name calling on this board. Please read the community guidelines if you need help with the rules here. It's Ok to disagree, no-one is being mean by calling an idea bad/tacky.

Careful @Houligan OP might get mad over your meme or take it the wrong way, too.

@Rachel..the can they cook was in response to thise saying the food would be terrible and bland. That may not necessarily be true. Also, it's not absurd bc my family has very large dinner parties. Especially holidays of just around 100 people.

And I agree, some may be on the fence about it and change their mind. That's totally fine. But like I said before, disagreeing and stating why you think it would be a bad idea is totally different than bashing the bride and throwing insults at her..which some people have done.

No one really knows the exact situation of the bride. Like she stated, she's going to have people that were in the catering business/know how to handle food. And those concerned about making her guests employees. Sometimes people offer. Sometimes people enjoy catering.

Honestly no one can really make assumptions about the brides decisions.

@jacks. Exactly what I said...it's totally fine to disagree. But reading some of those comments/gifs..that's not exactly "nice". I'm well aware of the rules but things don't necessarily need to be name-calling to be hurtful to someone.

Again Sarah, posts that would insult a user would be flagged for review by the mods.

This is a wedding forum, not the place for head pats and blind validation of bad ideas.

@penny I didn't ask if your guests are aware... that was @SaraJ.. and the day is quite literally the day about you and your FH.. and to

@saraJ - like penny, people we are inviting are people we talk to on a very often basis and are fully aware of what we are offering as well as the alternatives to people who have a special diet. Like penny, i have family and friends who are caterers and who work in restaurants who have offered full guidance and support- cause that's that way my family and friends are. Additionally, my loved ones will be well taken care- but apparently that means different things between our families.

@desertpolarbear - exactly, NO ONE is forcing us to to hire them- SO WE ARENT.

@rachel - Back to the, you don't know me or my family- our "holiday" meals and reunions, etc, are not 10-20 people, they are in the very large digits up to 200 people at times and we make it through with no problem. Never did anyone compare a holiday meal to this.

@Jenna yeah you didn't read my comment right at all. It's honestly just disrespectful to send your family to the kitchen on your wedding day and to risk the health of your guests. End of story.

Jenna, the day is no longer about *you* once you've invited guests.

@desertpolarbear you asked who is forcing us to hire restaurants or caterers? The answer is no one-except for the hateful people on this post who think they're above and beyond others. My family will do what they want, not forced by us- but is it YOUR call to decide what's rude or not acceptable In MY family?! Absolutely not.

@jacks - it is YOUR/MY wedding- guess what. It's about YOU/ME & your FH all day. If you want to pretend like all day that you aren't the reason everyone is there, you're obviously having the wedding for the wrong reasons.

I will, and OP, will do our day how WE want- you don't want to self cater your event? Don't. You don't want a DJ? Don't have one. You don't want a photographer? Don't get one. The list can go on and on. But I will not for one second tell someone on their own post asking for IDEAS that they are wrong, tacky, distasteful, etc. for having their day how THEY want.

Jenna .. do you mass produce food for your holiday parties? Asking for a friend.

@ellaenchanted most restaurants are unclean and nasty- not that I care- because I am not getting catering from either of them- cause again, MY choice and the choice my family decided was the best option for US. Additionally, it's none of your business what we do or do have fire codes for cause IT IS MY FAMILIES AND MY LIFE

Jenna, i am so glad you are here!

Dry AND self catered?

Yes. It will be a train wreck.

@Jenna that's just not a statement that is true of "most" restaurants - even "most" restaurants in a given price band. Apologies if your area just doesn't have well run businesses but in any city I've ever known of that's just not the case and the arrogance of you assuming you know better than pros is astonishing.

This thread is just unsavable.

Cook you own food. Make your friends and family work. Have a dry wedding. Then come back and tell us how fabulous it was.

We'll wait.