Food

My family does this a lot especially to have the cultural foods we might want. It's a lot of work, even though people are "used" to it. This usually involves some group of women up very early in the morning and trying to cook in multiple places. I would prefer a casual pot luck even to that. Hiring professionals saves you that additional stress. In preparing for my older sister's wedding (before I was even born), someone ended up setting some auntie's kitchen on fire, which clearly stressed everyone out to say the least. I have heard this story a thousand times and is the only thing I hear about my sister's wedding. You don't want that to be your wedding story. Are you only looking to save money on food?

My friend who got married a few years ago hired someone (culinary student at a local college) to just manage their food. It was a pretty small wedding with just close family and friends (70ish people). They all cooked it the day before and the guy they hired finished up their (taco bar) details and last minute stuff the day of. It fit their crowd and it worked for them.

I personally think it would be stressful (plus im not a good cook lol) to do self catering. I live in small town Wisconsin so caters aren't super super expensive here. It was worth it to us to just hire a caterer and not have to worry about any of those details.

I look at this and say, if I can’t afford to feed my guests a catered meal without slaving away myself, or without having my loved ones slave away, then I can’t afford my wedding and need to downsize.

Initially, my mother also said she could help set up for the wedding and I didn’t need a DOC, but when I pressed and asked if she would rather be with me watching me get ready, or setting up she admitted she didn’t want to work and really wanted that time with me. If i’m Not making anyone set up for me, I’m not making them cook for me..... and trust me it would be a HUGE job!

I think you could have someone else do it even if it is in your own family

We are having a 50 guests wedding and it was going to be over $2000 for regular buffet NOT EVEN seafood which was wayyy over our budget. So my friend is a professional chef and is doing it for us! Saves us money LOTS of money and we get to have exactly what we want-seafood, chicken n sides.

Well my mother in law is catering our food !! However we're not having too much because she's also our decorator and I don't want her to stress out .. My mom will be helping also !! Only thing we would probably buy are drinks ..

I should have followed my instinct to stop reading this thread after the initial post. It's getting old saying "don't self-cater" and "don't make family work at your wedding" and having people insist on it anyways. #RIPetiquette

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Your poor MIL. Will she get to have any fun at her son's wedding?

I would be too ashamed of myself to have my parents, or any of my family, work on my wedding day. The day of is stressful enough. My mom spent the morning at the salon, along with myself and my bridesmaids, getting pampered. Which is how it should be. In no way would I have wanted her stressing herself out the morning of having to cook food. I wanted my parents, and all my family, to just be guests. And I remember how happy and proud they looked the whole day. If you self cater and have your family work, you won't have those happy and proud memories, I guarantee it.

View Quoted Comment $2k is reasonable for 50 guests. Scale back the list or cater bbq/Italian. What you have planned may not end well.

My brother catered his own wedding for 300 people. He'd never done anything like that before. He was in the kitchen at the church cooking the morning of with his groomsmen helping out. We had smoked pulled pork with homemade bbq sauces, homemade mac & cheese, fruit and veggie trays, deviled eggs and I can't even remember what else. He has said the only thing he would have done differently is to have made less food. There were sooo many leftovers!

It went off without a hitch. No one got sick. Everyone loved the food. And it saved a ton of money.

Yes it takes a lot of work. Yes it takes a lot of planning. And it most likely will be stressful. But it can be done, and done well. He started researching and planning almost a year before the wedding. Our mom is great with organization so she helped with a timeline so everything would be fresh and ready for the reception. It was set up buffet style so all it took was 2 or 3 of the aunts keeping watch from a nearby table in case something needed refilled.

View Quoted Comment I feel terrible for your MIL & your mother. Doesn't seem as though she will get to enjoy her own child's wedding or bask in the joy of being mother of the groom/bride. Instead she will be slaving in the kitchen with her hairnet & apron. I bet that will make for some nice family photos. She'll prob also be running around making sure all the decorations & set up is perfect. Hopefully while all this is going on, flies don't get at the food, nothing spoils, it is all at the correct temperature, cooked & prepped as it should be & she becomes certified in food safety. Hire a caterer. I'm not be rude or trying to offend you. I apologize if I did, but I am only being realistic.

I should hire a professional

I’ve been a cook for large groups for four years. Delegate as much as you can. Make in advance as much as you can. You’ll be just fine.

View Quoted Comment Lol old food?? You do realize professional chefs prep 2-3 days in advance and keep chilled in the refrigerator. That’s standard. Sounds like maybe you just don’t like left overs or eat things that are commonly kept before serving. Everything from most fast food to catering to restaurants to bakery’s.

.... not another one ... sigh