For those of you who have had/are planning a Courthouse wedding before your ceremony.

No one, not even Michelle, can generalize about wedding laws in different states. In NY, you can get your license anywhere in the state or NYC and get married anywhere in the state or the city. You'll be given your license when you leave so you don't have to go back. Some clerks may do wedding there (they do at 141 Worth St. in Manhattan), but if you decide to go another route, let me know; I know a ton of wedding officiants all over NY. They will mail you a copy of the "real" license with the seal about a month afterwards. If you have the option to go to NOT NYC, do; everything is faster. In a smaller town, call the specific office you want to go to; some of them are not open or available every day.

And then go ahead; 'dress it up like a wedding' because it is. Pay no attention to the Michelle behind the curtain. (And it's hysterically, by the way.)

But seriously, do tell your parents. It's just better if they know, and I betcha they won't mind at all. Then your witness problem is solved ;-)

We had to get legal married two days before our wedding because our officiant wasn't licensed. In Virginia it's pretty straightforward - you don't even have to bring documents, you just have to sign a form affirming you're legally able to marry and not related to one another. Then we went to an officiant across the street with our two witnesses (my mom and sister). We wore our usual clothes and had lunch together in a pub afterwards. The whole thing took about an hour.

We didn't keep our legal marriage a secret, and as far as I know nobody cared that we were already married in the eyes of the law. Our ceremony included an affirmation of family and friends (basically, "Do you pledge to support them in their marriage, pick them up when they fall down, etc etc etc"), and I feel that emphasized that our ceremony was a way of uniting both families vs dealing with the legalities.

Several years I was a witness to one of my best friend's wedding at the JOP in New York City. I can't remember how long we waited before they actually got married. it was me, her mom, his sister, my best friend and her husband. Afterwards we went to a diner, ate, had some laughs and everyone went their separate ways. It was very informal but we had a blast

Michelle if its any of your business here is the gown I am still planning on wearing. Thank you everyone else for being so helpful, and Celia I am actually from outside of Albany so I will probably go there. Does my address have to be correct on my license to get a marriage license?Oh and my parents live 3 hours away, I will tell them but we will prob bring FH's parents as witness

Also @Amanda you were military, do you know if have to file your marriage certificate right away, or can I wait until my name change (after the celebration), and do it all at once?

@Future Mrs. Matthews, If I remember right, you have 30 days from the day you apply to file. But that was at Ft Knox, KY lol. I think you get 30 days to file the marriage certificate. It could vary by state though...

Soon-to-be Mrs. Matthews - I just have to say that is a gorgeous dress!! Love it!

Aw thanks augustbride =). I can't wait for mine to.come in! And thanks Amanda

Check with Albany before you go there; you'll definitely have to prove you live SOMEWHERE....

I will have to do that so they don't think I am a hobo!Haha

Future Mrs.Matthews I am so very sorry to hear your situation. It is horrible when life throws you a curveball. I am a new soon to be MOB and I stumbled upon this. Unfortunately I wanted to share something.

About 3 years ago we went to my cousin's daughters wedding. The couple I guess thought it was funny to announce at the reception that they were married for over a year and they got a lot of money from duping the US (military). My cousin and the grooms parents got up and practically dragged them out of the reception. About 20 minutes later the dad's came back, got the mic from the DJ and started to apologize profusely for their children. They went on about how they disgraced and dishonored their families and so on. The dad's then said the event was over. I think it was a bit much, but my cousin is a marine and he felt what his daughter did was disgraceful.

About 2 weeks later we received a letter in the mail from the couples parents once again stating how sorry they were for their children's actions. Along with the letter was our gift, a check, that had been shredded. The parents confiscated all the gifts and returned them to each guest.

Now I do think what my cousin did was a bit excessive, but I guess my point is that people do in fact care about being lied to, etc. I feel so bad for my cousin because him and his daughter were very close. He has not spoken to her for the last 3 years, and when we ask how she is he said "I do not have a daughter". Now I do not condone the extreme he has gone to, but lies about something so huge cut very deep.

@ElatedMOB- Wow....I would be SO embarrassed if that was my father. I feel like at this point in my life (old enough to legally marry without consent), I am an adult and my choices are my own. It sounds as though he WAY over reacted and this is no where near the norm.

That is downright terrifying. That is not the reaction of a loving father, that is an abusive tyrant.

Yes Future Mrs.Whitaker I also agree he did over react a bit. No disagreement here.

We did it for financial reason. i had a white dress and a plan but we went to apply for our license (no 3 day wait in Georgia if you get married in the same country ) and the jop was out dick and the lady doing theweddings said she can squeeze us in before lunch. so i got marred in a little purple dresses my hair was a mess and in Tennis shoes . we wrnt to subway and the fair after .we are doing our vow renewal on our 2 year Wedding anniversary so do what you want to do. :]]]

He overreacted, they acted like punks. They showed remarkably bad judgement in suggesting that they 'duped the government", and worse judgment in not letting their parents know before they became full scale public brats, but that is not this, and no one is being lied to here.

I am getting married at the courthouse this year and doing the celebration with family and dress (yes I will play dress up like a 5 year old because I want to and can). We are planning to do it so the dates match but we are going to tell my family and I am not sure who of his friends that he is going to tell.

I clearly stated in my post that we will tell people, just not before FSIL wedding,because I feel like that is rude when her wedding is in a couple of weeks. FMIL is our witness so they already know. And IK many many people who have done that to "dupe the gov" Let me tell you every time I file military marriage certificates, it is always filed by divorce papers.

Something I wanted to point out, since some people get cranky about calling your second "wedding celebration" a wedding. So, depending on your religion, a courthouse wedding isn't a real wedding. The Catholic church for example does not recognize weddings performed outside of the church (except if you marry a protestant in their church, then I think they recognize it). So in that case, your church wedding is the real wedding. So why get mad at people for wanting their marriage to be recognized by their church?

I've not read the comments so many of your questions may have already been answered. The witness thing will vary from state-to-state. In Colorado, where you can self-solemnize, you do not need witnesses. I wore jeans and a tank top. He wore shorts and a t-shirt. We grabbed lunch afterward, because we were hungry, we had no plans for the day in particular. The day we signed our paperwork had zero emotional impact on us. It was a means to an end. If you have an emotional connection to it, make it special however you feel it's appropriate.