For those on the second time around

I was married when I was 18 (way too young!). This time I focused on what I wanted and not my parents. This wedding was like yours where at least twice as much money is being spent. I acted like it was my 1st wedding because every wedding is different. It will not be lower because it's not your 1st wedding. It will be amazing because you are marrying each other. I wouldn't even think about your 1st marriages because they don't matter right now. I never once felt insecure about getting married again. Life happens and you were lucky to fall in love again and now you get to marry him. Focus on that. It will be amazing!

I got married on my 22nd birthday (yeah, don't do that) and I call that huge circus my parents' party.

We did this up our way and no, we had a 93% acceptance rate.

Thoughts: It took Joe telling the saleslady at the dress shop that I was the bride and not the mob (as I would always gravitate to those dresses instead) to make me realize we could have a real wedding event.

Second time for both me and the FH, and yes it's different but in a good way. Best way I can describe it is that this is really about our marriage, not about the "WEDDING"- an important but often lost detail when planning these things. He eloped the first time, but mine was a four-day wedding weekend extravaganza. It was a heck of a fun time and I still thank my parents for it, but I often wonder if I would have been brave enough to walk away from marrying my ex if it wasn't such a big, elaborate, highly-anticipated event.....hard to walk away with so many moving parts and money on the line (and let's be real, you don't always make the best/wisest choices in your early 20s).

I wouldn't expect a lower turnout - the people who want to be there WILL be there, and if someone isn't going to show up because it's your second marriage, do you really want them there with you anyway?

Yes, I've sometimes found it a little awkward and feel like I'm not "allowed" to do certain things, but that's all in my head. My friends, family, and vendors have all been super supportive throughout.

I got married when I was 20- by the county clerk. Same thing as a JOP wedding. We were poor and that wasn't going to change for a while. I had a young daughter from a previous relationship too, so the thought of saving money for a couple of years and then spending it on a frivolous thing like a wedding didn't sit right with me then.

So, unlike my first wedding- I am not going to Round Table Pizza for lunch afterwards. We are going all out and having a grand affair.

FWIW- I come from a long line of ladies who got divorced and remarried. I was a flower girl in my maternal aunts weddings 5 times. My mom only has two sisters.

My great grandma was married 3 times. She was only widowed the third time. My Grandpa was my Grandmothers second husband. I am honestly not making any of this up.

I am not having a registry because I just hate them. I don't know if I am having a shower because I would have no part in planning that anyways, and the weddings a while from now. I'm not having a bridal party either- again, personal choice, I just think they're silly.

Walking myself down the aisle. I'm wearing a blush pink dress. Because I love pink.

I am not expecting low turn out at all- I think everyone who is closest to me is happy for me, not judgy. Have the wedding you want. Everyone in my family does, over and over again, and we all have a great time. Weddings are supposed to be joyous events.

I've been divorced twice and my fiance once. We have more guests coming to our wedding than I had at my first two combined lol

My husband had married once before before meeting me. He married at 22, divorced at 26.

His wedding was nothing of what he wanted. It was put together quickly too, so overall quality was low, according to him.

I'm actually glad my first wedding was his second, as I'd always wanted something less traditional and on the small side. We didn't invite his entire huge family and only invited people we actually care about- no obligation invites! We had our reception at an amazing restaurant and everyone loved the food and top shelf bar. To afford that, we didn't do fancy flowers/centerpieces or any of those extra trappings Pinterest would insist you need to make your day "unique." We didn't do matching bridal party attire. Although DH's first marriage was annulled, we didn't have our wedding in a Church and instead found a Reverend that could do a customized ceremony with some spiritual elements.

We had a pretty good response rate- maybe about 80% of guests said they'd come? And everyone who said they'd come, did come (no no-shows, whew!).

DH cared a lot more about this wedding being what he wanted, not what everyone else wanted. I was super happy with that.

This will be my second marriage, FH's first. I don't think anyone I know is viewing my wedding any differently just because it's not my first. I did JOP the first time though, so mainly I think my family and friends are excited that they actually get to come to my wedding this time.

This will be the second time for both of us. FH eloped the first Tim and I had a huge wedding that was,in my opinion beautiful but too much. My ex in laws took over my first wedding. This time we are going low key because we want some thing simple not extravagant. It's exactly what we want.

2nd time for us both; I was married 32 years and FH was married 14 (13?)... I got married REALLY REALLY young (16) and my parents told me - "here is your budget - whatever you don't spend on the wedding, you can have in cash for honeymoon, etc". I think I had the cheapest wedding EVER. I went in to the dress shop and said "I'm a size 4 (lol, THEN!), what do you have on sale and no alterations". We planned a 1pm wedding and had cake and punch. NO BAR (well, I WAS 16). We did have champagne (cheap). No music. Reception at my parents house (which, granted was really nice).

So, THIS will really be my first wedding that I plan, etc. We are paying for it all (well, really my kids are since it comes out of their inheritance!) I am splurging on the things I wished I'd had then. FH loves to plan with me - he had a small civil ceremony, so it's kinda his first too. I had a church ceremony the first time; this time not. But only because we couldn't find a church and venue close enough and both available, so we are doing it all in one place. That's the regret this time around; hardly a regret though. Everything else will be how WE like it; a bit unconventional...but totally US!

This will be my second, FH's first marriage. I was 31 when I got married had a beautiful wedding. Big bridal party and 285 guests. I tried to make everyone happy while planning the first. This time is different. We will be 40 by the time we get married!! We're planning a DW in Las Vegas with our immediate family and a few friends. We're planning the wedding we want. But at 39 years old I think we're done being people pleasers.

Second for us both. To be honest, I did feel sort of funny about having a big ta-do about it since it was our second. Not that it's the advice I'd give others. I would tell them to make their day exactly how they want it, regardless of what number marriage you're on. Also, if you're paying for it - you do it your way!

I had a big event for my first marriage - FH did a quick courthouse thing. This time we're going in the middle - we'll have a DW with just us and 3 friends. When we get home, there will be a party (aprox 100 people) outdoors. We'll have it catered, stock a bar and bounce house mazes and other activities for the guests with children. I didn't have a shower - I'm 40 & he's 48 -we have everything we need. We'll have a night out on the 16th, where my best friend is organizing with a limo to the comedy club at the casino, but I guess that's the only traditional thing that we're doing. Even that's not SUPER traditional though because it'll be co-ed.

This is a 2nd marriage for me, first for my DH (in fact counting me he has only had 2 committed relationships). My first wedding was very informal. We were married at the JoP's apartment. My "dress' came from Bradlee's (for those that don't know, think of a Target or Walmart). For a "reception" we had cold cuts and a cake from the grocery store at our apartment. The only people were our immediate family.

I knew that I wanted the full wedding experience this time. As I hadn't invited any of my extended family and DH's family thought he would never get married, we didn't have anyone invited not attend because it was my second marriage. Honestly the only person that had anything to say was one of my "closest" friends. She thought I shouldn't wear white (because it was my second marriage) and that considering my age she didn't think a big wedding was appropriate. She really made me doubt myself for about a minute. I discussed it with my sister/MOH and some of my other bridesmaids (said friend was also a BM) and every one of them agreed that I should do what I wanted (my sister felt that it may be a case of jealousy. The friend has never been married and has only had 1 serious relationship in her life). I just ignored her comments. The funny thing is same friend decided it would be a good idea to discuss things she didn't like about my wedding (for example that we had a "do not play" list as well as a few other things). My sister/MOH told her the same thing she said to anyone expressing any negativity around her which was "My sister has waited a long time for this. She and DH are paying for everything themselves. She is providing good food and a nice evening. Given the price they are paying, there is nothing wrong with a do not play list". She also told people that if they can't say anything nice then they need to say nothing. (I am too nice and would probably been upset by comments made. I am thankful I choose an MOH that would step up and keep people "in line").

First time bride; second time groom. FH was married in his early 20s and did the whole thing like others have described already. He wasn't involved in a lot of the planning the first time, this time he is willing and happy to offer his opinion. We're having a church wedding and a reception in a private dining space of a local restaurant. Only a MOH and BM. Even though we're an "older" couple, we did sign up for a registry...not because FH wanted too, because I had friends asking me where we were registered. The guest list is small and will be immediate family and close friends that know our journey.

I was engaged at 18 and married just at 19. It was a tiny near elopement wedding and not at all what I wanted then or now. It's my fh's first wedding and our only wedding as a couple. I am going all out (within reason and budget constraints) to celebrate that.

This isn't either of our first rodeos. Biggest difference is that we're inviting more friends than family. And I feel like I'm taking more control over events this time. No shower, didn't want a bachelorette either. No registry. It is sooooooo different planning with the internet this time though LOL Way better than sitting down with a phone book and actually calling for reviews instead of reading them online

This is my third (and final!) wedding, FH's second. I would have been okay with a JOP thing, or a very small wedding with only immediate family. However, FH has a large extended family that regularly gets together. Also, he feels that saying vows in front of family and friends is important to an extent I don't really feel. Once we made the decision to have a full wedding, though, I got into it.

This is my third. First at 18, (divorced) and second at 21 (widowed). I am doing all the things I never did with either of the first. I am only having a small ceremony this time. This is FH's second. We were originally going to do the JoP and he decided he wanted an actual wedding. Not having a shower, but will have my first bachelorette this time.

Thanks for sharing and for all your input. You all have very unique situations, but the point I picked up on was that I should do whatever makes me happy and screw whatever "tradition" or rules dictate, and that I certainly need not worry about what others think.

Second time for both of us as well. FH had a big wedding the first go round. I didn't have wedding, got married in Hawaii with 3 people. This time it is important to me that I have friends and loved ones there. We are have a small guest list but we are having a party!

We're halfway to a 20-25 year anniversary. I'm going to treat my wife to a big bash, for putting up with me. It will be like a second wedding. Going to spend way, way more, when we were just college students. Probably going to keep most of it secret whilst I sheme in the background. Should be a good surprise :-D