For those on the second time around

I didn't really set out to make my second wedding different from my first. However, there were a number of differences, based on:

* The fact that I had a different partner. After all, the wedding should reflect both of us.

* The fact that my tastes had changed between 1977 (first wedding) and 2009 (second).

* The fact that my situation was much different. First wedding was planned while working full-time, going to law school (summer as well as during the year), and serving on law review. Second was planned while I was self-employed.

* The fact that my family was much smaller. I'd become estranged from my parents, many of my uncles and aunts had died, and my children had not yet started having their own children. And NotFroofy is estranged from her family, unlike my ex-husband, who had far more family than I ever did and was close to them.

* The fact that I had far more friends. All the things I was doing at the time of my first wedding sucked up so much time that I really didn't have a chance to make any.

* The fact that the world had changed. Dresses were different, the Internet had made long-distance planning much easier, and customs had changed. (In 1977, no one had bridesmen or groomswomen, for example.)

So some things were the same. Wedding both times was far from where we lived, ceremony was in a synagogue, there were only two attendants (one male, one female), and the reception right afterward was in a restaurant (with food and beverages, but no dancing). But a lot of things were different:

* First wedding, I had an engagement ring with a stone that was huge for the time. Second, we both chose not to have engagement rings.

* First wedding, we had 80 people there, the vast majority of them his family. Second, we had just immediate family and a few close friends at the ceremony and reception right afterward.

* First wedding, the reception after the ceremony was the only one we had. Second wedding, we had a reception with dancing back home with all our friends.

* First wedding, invitations were engraved. Second, they were colorful pocketfolds.

* We had programs for the second wedding, which would have been completely impractical for the first. (Printing was black and white only, and quite expensive, at the time of my first wedding, and there were no personal computers to simplify it.)

* We had a registry for the second wedding, which we didn't for the first. (Back before the Internet, a registry could only be at one physical store, which was impractical unless all the guests were local.)

* There was a lot more DIY in the second wedding.

* We had a wedding website for the second wedding.

* First wedding dress had long sleeves and no train, and was not so form-fitting as to require alterations. Second wedding, mine was strapless and both were form-fitting, and we needed both alterations and bustling for the trains.

* We were less picky about the gender of our attendants the second time around. First time, both my brother and the groom's sisters were excluded from the wedding party, because it was unthinkable for the groom to have a female attendant or the bride to have a male one. Second time, my son and daughter were our attendants, and no one worried about the fact that my son was a bride's attendant.

Oh, and I was probably less insecure about having an event, because a) my second wedding was NotFroofy's first, and b) there were lots of wedding websites to tell me that you were no longer expected just to sneak off to the courthouse for a second wedding.

This is my first marriage, and FH 2nd time around. FH got married young early 20's, and he had lots of children (5 total). The marriage lasted for about 10 years. We're both excited about having our "dream wedding".

2nd wedding here too! Fitst was small (10 people). Looking forward to prople coming and am having a blast planning!! My parents are supportive (was pregnant first time and parents refused to go). I'm making it our wedding, don't care what anyone else says except FH!!

This is my second. FH first. My first wedding was gorgeous. I plan on this one being even better. It's a guest choice to decide if they want to come or not but they are invited so I can't chose for them. Since its my second I tend to let future FH have a lot of input. To me it's about the marriage more than the wedding.

My first, FH's second. This is actually one of the reason's we opted not to do a registry. If people wanted to give us cash, great, but FH felt weird about asking for household items for a second marriage, and seeing as we are already established and have been living together for some time. Our wedding will be much smaller (300 people vs. 70), but that was because of our vision, not in an effort to make it different. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go about it. You are the bride, whether it's the 1st or the 7th time and you have equal right of celebrating your love. I will say that all of his friends joke that the 2nd wedding should be free.... (like hotel costs)

I thought about this post on the way to work. Another line of Joe's that prompted me to "do it up right" was when he said, "Hey! We ain't no schlubs!" I laughed so hard and changed my attitude right then

This is my 2nd wedding and FH's first. The first time around I was 20 yrs old and got married on a beach in Hawaii. It was just us, my daughter, my mom and step dad, his parents and brother. I was also very newly pregnant. Our "wedding package" cost $500 and included a blurry video on VHS and a roll of film that we got to develop ourselves.

This wedding with my FH is completely different. We will be surrounded by friends and family, I get the dress and to walk down the aisle... and we are going to celebrate HUGE!

I have been married before, almost 20 years ago, when I was 27; FH has not never been married. My first wedding was great, there was no expense spared, in fact, certain family members and friends occasionally still talk about it. It had every element of a traditional wedding. Very similar to the OP, a lot of the wedding was what others wanted, both set of parents, at the time FH (ex now) and MOH; I had very little say. The majority of guests were family, both sets of parent's' friends and perhaps two dozen of our own friends.

Since FH has never married, he wants to go all out, he wants the big celebration, and I want something more low key, JoP/City Hall then a nice dinner. So, we're compromising. However, this time around, all aspects of our wedding is what FH and I want, no parents or any BP input. Majority of guests will be our friends and only immediate family, no uncles, no aunts, no cousins. There will be a select few of my friends that attended my first wedding, and will also be invited to my second.

This wedding will have no resemblance of my first wedding, but will be equally, if not more spectacular but on a much smaller scale.