formal wear dress code

View Quoted Comment Multiple posters asked her whether it was, in fact, a black tie affair or pointed out that it needed to be in order to expect formal attire and were ignored. It was a reasonable assumption.

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Black tie is certainly a dress code. It means men in tuxedos not suits and women in floor length or tie length dress. Black tie optional, is men in tuxedos or suits and women in floor length or tea length.

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"Black tie" on an invitation means more than just the dress code. It's more a descriptor of the type of hosting to expect at the event. It's really a lot more than just what people are wearing. People would then know to expect valet parking, for instance, just to name one.

I agree with others that your wedding should be a formal event if you ask guests to dress in formal attire, but you said it is so you should be good. Our dress code was creative formal, and all guests followed the dress code. Several guests actually mentioned that they picked their outfits to be creative and that they had fun with it. No one complained about the dress code, and many actually had fun either choosing and outfit they already had or buying a new one.

View Quoted Comment I am sure your creative thoughts made the event perfect for everyone who attended!

I was invited to a wedding "Black tie" Women ONLY in black (no patterns, no color), men in black suit or tuxedo with white shirt and black tie. Ceremony is outdoors and it is going to be around 100 degrees. Can't wait to see how many of us drop from the heat. I wonder how the bride will feel when everyone is looking at the older folks that faint from the heat instead of looking at her.

Do you think the bride is considering her guests at all?

View Quoted Comment Black tie is an aesthetic that includes formal wear that you would see at the Oscars, valets, plated dinners and everything to the nines. There is no dress code anywhere that tells guests to wear specific colors and fabrics because that is outside the scope of what is allowed for the couple to request. Guests are not props, and the only people the couple can tell what to wear are the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Anything beyond that is inappropriate. Unfortunately, post-Covid, people consider any and all etiquette to be outdated and irrelevant because they don’t want to follow it and create their own “rules” that do the opposite of etiquette by creating uncomfortable awkward situations that didn’t have to happen in the first place. That is why celebrity trends on Instagram become “mainstream etiquette” according to wedding industry articles online and people do whatever they want on TikTok and people translate it as law.


Decline this invitation because they don’t understand or care about hospitality and guest comfort. Couples who do this don’t care about anyone except themselves and their pictures.

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Of course it's inconsiderate. "Black tie" indicates a formal affair. Black tie attire is a known standard of dress appropriate to a black tie affair. Specifying colors, patterns or the lack thereof is nothing to do with black tie and is way overstepping.

I wouldn't go as far as to decline the invitation if they are more misguided than entitled. Whether or not to comply would depend on my feelings for the person in question and the level of discomfort or unpleasantness that would go along with taking a stand.