French Wedding...

Hello Emilia! I

Hello Emilia! I
I'm 50% french 50% german (but I feel more french than german, hough!) and my fiancé is french, we both both lived in France before moving in in the US...There are no 'real french wedding'! Most weddings I've been to in France are either religious aor city hall/town hall ceremony but outdoor,secular weddings are very rare, even though this is a thing and becoming more and more popular according to what both families who live in France told us.
The only 'french things ' I can see are about the '2 ceremonies' and the witnesses.

1) 2 ceremonies because the religious or secular ceremony is the second one, after the city hall ceremony (with a shorter guest list: immediate families and closest friends, some (but not all)extended family members the bride or groom is very close to.

2) Witnesses:witnesses: having 1 witness by newlyweds (because they are required ) and a witness is a de facto maid of honor/man of honor and best man/best woman because the witnesses plan the bachelor/bachelorette when the groom/bride wants one and give a speech/toast at the reception. And a future snewlywed picking someone of opposite sex as their witness is pretty common in France , something that is done in the US but here most future newlyweds pick a maid OH vs man OH and a Best man vs a Best Woman.My fiancé has his twin sister as witness and best woman, some in his family think it's weird but neither him nor myself care what they think ... as long as we're happy with our choices.

Other than that ... some couples keep all or most traditions (bride wearing a veil and escorted by her dad, bouquet toss etc...) and some skip them, like everywhere else.

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Hi Frankie, thanx for your answer ! Your description is very accurate, indeed ! :-) Last couple of years the secular ceremonies became more and more popular, I'd say that there's like 50/50 proportion with the religious weddings. The couple know that they can personalise their ceremony and that's what they're looking for.

Some try to put some effort into the civil wedding which is really simple and short... Mine was about 12 minutes ! Luckily I had a church ceremony just after ;-)

I asked the question about "the real French wedding" because we all can have some idea of the thing. My polish friends coming to my wedding asked "what will be French about it ?". They thought that I'd put some flags, baguettes and Tour Eiffel everywhere I guess .

And when I look at american destination weddings in France, they're mostly in Paris or in the South of France. And they're more american than french after all ;-)

Hello Emilia! Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to WeddingWire!! 💍❤️

You should also make sure to check out our wonderful French community:

https://communaute.mariages.net/

I know a few fun facts about French weddings!! Food is even more important in French weddings, with decadent desserts (bring on the croquembouche) and an amazing vin d'honneur. 🥂

French weddings can also be a little smaller - with around 100 guests on average!

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Hello Lynnie ! Thank you very much ! I'm already married, now I can't wait to see my friends getting married soon :-)

I am an actif member of "mariages.net" since 2018, I just love weddings :-D

You are absolutely right about the food - it's like a religion for French people ! Especially Le fromage & la pièce montée...

I don't know what a French wedding is like.


I am German and my husband is Syrian and we got married in the US. I found American weddings to be quite different from German weddings and when we started planning that made me quite upset. It was also in the middle of the pandemic which made planning even more difficult. But in the end we made it our own and did the best with the circumstances and it turned out beautiful.

Our ceremony was a mix of cultures and languages. The funny thing was that a lot of my German friends and family (who watched online) commented that the ceremony was so American. And all the American guests said that they had never seen a ceremony like this and it was so different.

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So what was German or Syrian about your wedding ? And why it looked "so American" for your relatives ?

I bet my French friends would say that my wedding was "so Polish !" as we included a lot of traditions, but the plan of the day was strictly French, as they cannot do it another way . So the French just thought that's a "normal" thing, not typically theirs.

Half of our guests are coming from France and I think there's just a couple of French style wedding traditions we are incorporating. Such as a very long cocktail hour, and the fun one where once the bride and groom get announced at reception they sort of dance around the room at all the tables before sitting down themselves. Maybe's that's just my fiancé's group of friends though? Haha. Lots of cheese of course. We had to be sure to order espressos for after dinner, since that's so common as well. Just little things here and there!

Ironically, one of my témoins is a Polish girl who also married a Frenchman! My FH's best friend. Too funny.

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Bonjour ! ;-)

Oh oui, that's very French what you are describing ! :- Long cocktail hour, so callend vin d'honneur - very important (and I dared skipping it.. ). The big entrance before the meal, with music, that's also very common. Cheese and coffee - of course !:-D

That's funny about your témoin, the world is so small ;-) And where are they from in France ?

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We compromised and set the cocktail for 2 hours, since 3 is more typical there! I don't know how everyone isn't just completely drunk by dinner hahah. You skipped yours?

My FH is from Nantes, as are most of the guests coming. And my témoin, Zosia, is from Poznan.

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I'd say it's between 2 or 3 hours.

Yep, I skipped my vin d'honneur, just did a little thing like "sip and sit", people had a drink and some small snacks for like 40 minutes, time to wait for everybody to arrive.

As in my city we cannot really choose the hour of the ceremony, we got married at 5 at the city hall, then at 6 in church. So we didn't have time to make a 3h cocktail...

Did you know that there is a tradition that we can say goodbye to some of the guests after the cocktail as they are not invited to stay longer ? I was shocked at first .