Friend acting weird?

You seemed to downplay the first wedding also so I wouldn’t be upset with her downplaying it also.

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She means american wedding. Other cultures have weddings that the bride does not wear white. So when they choose to have the second American wedding, the bride wears the white dress. Hence "white wedding". Appreciate everyone being concerned about her wording though, but no offence taken at all. Knew exactly what she was talking about.

View Quoted Comment This is a true example of something being relative. I’m black, husband is Nigerian. It didn’t occur to me that it would be assumed I was talking about skin color. Again my in laws say this so much I’ve pretty much adopted it into my vocabulary and didn’t really notice as I was typing this post.

I don't think your friend did anything wrong so I would just answer her question. It does seem like you were downplaying the first wedding, so I think her text seems appropriate. Congratulations! Do you have any pictures to share?

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Is it going to be completely decorated in white?

Ignore this. Page two didn't load. lol I see you were talking about just the dress.

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You already explained yourself, I wouldn't worry about it. As far as your question about your friend not being super excited about the traditional wedding (first), let me tell you what may be happening from your friends point of view :

My BF was having a DW in Punta Cana I was one of 3 BM's and 1 MOH. She also got married a month earlier in a Temple (to me this was her wedding the DW was just a party). She invited only family and that meant that two of the 4 of us could attend and the MOH and myself were beat. We planned her shower/ bachelorette weekend/ and did a ton of work for this wedding. When we were not included in the Temple wedding it hurt, I did text her immediately after the wedding to do the courteous thing and check in but to be honest I was salty. I know you said that you invited everyone, but it's tough to make two weddings and perhaps she was just a little salty but still wanted to ask you how things were. I would cut her a break she will be completely excited for your American wedding!

Hi I would advise you to ask her directly , it could have been that she assumed you were to busy hosting the party and didn’t want to bother you or it could be she was having her own issue and was thinking about something else besides your wedding on that day the only way you’ll know is to ask her directly ,only if it bothers you that much that she didn’t say congrats

View Quoted Comment I read your previous comment and saw the clarification, so no need to explain yourself again. The comment of mine you quoted was explaining why people thought you meant something else. But thanks for clearing it up!

My maids of honor didn't congratulate me. I'm not upset about it. Because there is nothing to be upset about.

I am surprised how many people never heard of a white wedding before! That is what I have always heard a large traditional wedding called. Then again I totally understand jumping to that conclusion with everything going on in the world.

Honestly I would not read that much into it. She could have just been busy. I forgot major things all the time and send very similar texts a few days later. She probably just meant it with the lol since originally you weren't too hyped about it.

To be honest at the beginning I got the vibe it was something you weren't interested in and just going through the motions. She probably doesn't know what to say to you. She's probably wondering if she should congratulate you now or wait until after the wedding you seem more interested in. Talk to her and tell her what you told us. How it was amazing and how much fun you had.

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome. Now when responding to diverse wedding threads you’ll know what some cultures mean by “white wedding”

Yeah, it seems like she was just matching you. From your initial description, sounds like you were / came across to her as super nonchalant about it, so she replied in kind. Saving the enthusiasm for the American wedding. I definitely wouldn’t read too much into it.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! Now when you're posting, you'll know to clarify considering the diversity in users here.

FWIW, my step brother married into a traditional Indian family. Not once was the term "white wedding" used.

Hold up, I’m rereadingg the initial thread — you say explicitly you were apprehensive of this taking away from your second wedding and she KNEW this— so sounds like her being casual about it is what she thinks is the nicest thing possible. It makes all the sense. She knows you don’t want all the fanfare to be over with before the one you’ve planned, she is 100% just respecting your apprehension here.

Honestly, it sounds like your friend was following your lead.

View Quoted Comment Your step brother’s in laws are not Nigerian so obviously that’s just not a term they use in their family🙄

I am certain she took her cue from you.... you weren't excited about it, you were downplaying it... and now you are upset that she didn't appear excited? I wouldn't worry - she was maybe a little apprehensive to ask about it given your initial thoughts.

View Quoted Comment Oh sorry. I wasn't aware the term was exclusive to Nigerians, especially since everyone else has been saying it's a common term in diverse cultures 🤷

You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. She asked you how it was and is coming to the second wedding. There’s nothing to worry about it seems. Just talk to her and move on