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Ada
Beginner April 2022

Friend Dilema ; Bachelorette Party Invites

Ada, on September 4, 2021 at 9:58 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
Hi,
So I have a dilema and would love some outside points of views
For a long time I had two guy best friends, who also happen to be lifetime best friends with each other. For the purpose of this conversation they will be G & C In the past year and a half I have lost touch with G, not like he isn’t friends with me on social media but we simply stopped reaching out to each other. On the other hand I have gotten closer to C. When I got engaged in January it didn’t even cross my mind to call G and let him know, but C was aware that it was happening beforehand.
When it came to our guests list, we weren’t sure if we should invite G & his long term partner. But when it came to C I had no doubts that I wanted him at my wedding, I asked him to be my Man of Honor.
It seems that decision has caused some tension between them and my other friends who know him. I don’t want to cause my bridal party extra stress, I know they have my back, but they won’t tell me how the conversations are going because they don’t want me to worry about that. But I know there is tension because of things that have been mentioned in passing.
My issue is that C will be the only straight man at the bachelorette party. Should I invite G and other people to the bachelorette even if they aren’t invited to the wedding?

4 Comments

Latest activity by Ruby, on September 4, 2021 at 7:10 PM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    As a rule, you don't invite people to prewedding events if they are not invited to the wedding. Honestly, I would just try not to worry about it. They don't want you to be involved, so (and I know it's hard) try to put it out of your mind. Everyone has the right to their own feelings, but you haven't done anything wrong by not including someone with whom you are no longer close.

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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    You shouldn't invite anyone to pre-wedding event that aren't invited to the wedding. I agree with Becky I wouldn't worry about it. I'm not trying to sound selfish but the night is about you. And i'm sure your friend even with being the only man will still have fun.
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I wouldn't if they aren't invited to the wedding. You could also do a combined bachelor/bachelorette party if you're worrying about him being the only straight man. Or even have him invited to the bachelor party instead!
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  • R
    Dedicated October 2021
    Ruby ·
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    If you invite G to your Bachelorette party, he will assume he’s getting an invitation to the wedding. This happened to me with a co-worker years ago. She invited me to her all her prewedding events and when I never got an invitation, I was hurt. I thought we were close at work. I had assumed it got lost in the mail so when I approached her, she said she’s only inviting close friends and family. So why invite me to all the prewedding stuff if she didn’t consider us close or a significant person in her life? This was hurtful. In the end, it’s your choice who you want in your celebration and don’t feel obligated to invite others to please people. It also isn’t fair to those who think they are going to get an invite. G may think he has reconnected with you for a Bach invite when you didn’t want him there in the first place
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