Friend roles in wedding

I have similar questions about my parents, since they will not be walking me down the aisle, but I still want a special way to include them. So I'm interested to see what ideas people have.

For your friends, could one of them do a reading? Or is there a part of the ceremony where they could bring you something you're about to use? Rings, for example, if you don't have a ring bearer.

Another idea is for them to be the people who help you get ready.

I’m not sure what you mean about your friend gifting your bouquet. I’ve never heard of that. Can you explain what you mean?


A time-honored way to include people in the wedding is to have them do a reading. We had a close friend of mine do one reading and a close friend of his do another. You can have a religious passage, a poem, an excerpt from a book, etc. If your friend is musical, they could also play or sing a song.

View Quoted Comment For your parents, how about some kind of unity ceremony? We did a unity candle, and we had my mom and his dad light the individual candles at the start of the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Yes great idea to have them do a reading!


We will be having our mothers present our rings and pay of our close aunts and our siblings involved in the ceremony.
I ended up making this card I just hope the writing isn’t too weird of “gifting me my wedding bouquet” yes it is not common or something I have heard of before either which is why I was struggling on how to ask, because will always bring me flowers when she visits me I wanted to include her in this way to make it more “meaningful” in our friendship.
She is not really religious and we have most of our immediate family doing the church ceremony duties like rings, cord, bible, readings and all the other main church functions

He doesn't need to have groomsmen in order for you to have bridesmaids! They can still get ready with you, wear the color you pick, or take group photos with you. But they don't have to walk down the aisle or stand in the ceremony. My husband didn't have groomsmen either.

View Quoted Comment So you’re asking your friend to pay for your bouquet. No. Do not do this. It’s one thing if she asked to, but it’s not something you request out of the blue.


If you want to do something involving her and the flowers, you could maybe have a moment when you first walk in, before you start down the aisle, where she walks over and presents your bouquet to you. Or have her sit at the front and step up to take your bouquet to hold during the ceremony, since you don’t have a bridesmaid to hold it.

For our loved ones, we felt that them being guests sharing in the day was a huge honor. In our circles, the officiant will do readings because it flows without awkward moments where people are uncomfortable with public speaking in front of strangers. If there is a need for a role, which many people we know (as well as our own personal experiences as guests) are vocal that they would rather not have a job beyond supporting the couple and having fun, a greeter or usher is the most important. As regular guests, they are very much honored and included because they are chosen over someone else who doesn’t make the cut. As vocal as our friends and family are about advocacy and general opinions of wedding related issues from a guest perspective, there is not a single person who felt they were not honored or included by not being chosen as a bridesmaid/groomsman or given a job on the wedding day. I worked a lot of weddings at my grandmother’s church growing up and did various duties and most jobs are barely noticed by guests even when they are somewhat prominent. You know what your social circle is most comfortable with as far as their own traditions.


No idea what gifting a bouquet means. Does she pick it out at the florist? Or hand it to you when you walk down the aisle? I wouldn’t consider this a job to ask a guest and I would be confused if I was approached about it.

View Quoted Comment If you ask them for it, then it's not a gift. I've never seen this before, I think most users here would advise against it.

View Quoted Comment I think the wording is what I mainly need help with. She is not someone that would like a role in speaking but a role in the wedding yes

View Quoted Comment Wording it better is what I needed help with mainly, not “gifting” but “presenting” like you said so thank you! This helps a lot because no wouldn’t want her buying it just like we’re buying our own rings and cord and everything for church but having our family “present” it.

View Quoted Comment Okay, yes, presenting it to you is totally fine. I wouldn’t do a cutesy letter but just talk to her and explain that you want her to have a special role and what you want her to do. Since it’s not a typical role, I think you’re opening it up to misunderstanding if you do the note route.

Gifting your bouquet sounds like you want her to buy it for you.

I would say presenting instead, but this seems like an odd honor. If you want them as bridesmaids, have bridesmaids. The sides can be uneven.

I found out it’s very common in the Hispanic community to have a “Madrina de ramo” / “bouquet godmother” in which a women in your life usually a sister or friend who is close will gift you the bride bouquet. So I was able to get it set since both her and I are Hispanic 😊

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That's wonderful! What a beautiful tradition.