Friend upset because they didn't get an invite to our covid wedding

Wow, I would delete that friend from my life 100%. How selfish of them! We had a 25-person limit and 1 person made a comment about her kids weren’t allowed and we uninvited her. It’s literally not about anyone else... easy peasy, I deleted her from our life. I don’t want selfish people around my family and I.
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You're not wrong to be upset or annoyed with him, I feel like people should be understanding especially during this time. It wasn't that you didn't want him there, your venue had limits and restrictions. He's still invited to the celebration next year so he should chill especially if you aren't that close

Don't feel bad! If they we're a good friend they would understand the circumstances! It's YOUR wedding day not theirs. You did what you had to do. It's not like you didn't want your friend there. It's not like you wanted COVID to disrupt your wedding plans. Honestly I would drop them but thats just me haha. Hopefully they will come around and get over it, but if not you might have to say bye Felicia!

You are certainly not wrong to be upset in this case. I think your friend is in the wrong here. COVID brides are forced to make very difficult decisions on who to invite due to very limited maximum guest counts. I understand that he is disappointed to have missed your ceremony, but he shouldn't be making you feel bad, especially given how heartbreaking it is for you to have to cut back the guest list in the first place.

Honestly, he doesn't sound like much of a friend since he hasn't spoken or hung out with you guys in the last two years. Not sure why he is even invited to your larger wedding.

Wow! Just wow! I would definitely explain to him that “there are heavy restrictions & limits on who can attend. Apparently since you’re not being very understanding or supportive during this time, your attendance at next year’s function is not welcome either.” Boom- drop the mike!

I actually suggest looking at this a little differently- his feelings are hurt because he considers you to be close friends and is sad to have missed out (granted he could definitely communicate that better!). We take it for granted what it is like to be a Covid bride, but many people seriously just don’t get it (my mom for example, complaining about how my cousins are handling their wedding and asking if she should give a smaller gift bc of not attending- like her daughter is in the same spot!) Depending on how you see the friendship, try to take it as a compliment and explain the situation. Maybe you will get closer, or maybe the opposite.

He's definitely in the wrong here.

But I think if you like this person it would be worth a shot to respond to him. Let him know that because you guys haven't hung out within the last two years, you assumed he would be perfectly content with coming just to the larger celebration. Tell him that you're also disappointed that you didn't get to have the wedding you dreamed of and invite everyone that was important to you. Your venue had a strict limit due to COVID, you had absolutely no intention of hurting his feelings, and it would be great if he could try to see if from your perspective, too.

If he responds poorly to your attempt at clearing up a miscommunication, I'd second-guess having him even as a friend. But you can cross that road when you get to it.

On the other hand - if you don't actually care about having him as a friend, you could be more direct and say you really didn't appreciate him coming at you with that attitude. It was hard enough having to plan a COVID wedding, especially not getting to invite everyone that you wanted to. It was in no way a slight to him, but since you guys haven't talked in the last two years, you didn't think you guys were close friends anymore.

Either way, hope things work out for you

You'll never make everyone happy. I have a couple of friends upset with me because they weren't invited (we purposely planned a small wedding). There's nothing you can do about it after the fact and you owe no one an answer as to why this person was chosen and that one was not.

Not saying he is right at all, but I can see why a friends feelings would be hurt depending on how close you two are. That being said its pretty clear everyone is doing the best they can right now and he shouldve understood it was not personal. If he is invited next year, then he just needs to get over it. I would explain why you made the decision, and if he still gives you a hard time dont even give him the time of day.

I would ask him which person, out of the 20 who were there, he felt he should have been there in place of. Then wait and see what he says.

If you haven't seen him in 2 years, I can't imagine why he would expect to be on the shortest of short lists.

He is in the wrong and selfish. You could only have 20 people of course you would invite only people who are closest to you. He's an a$$ for making you feel this way. Like you said you guys haven't hung out in 2 years why would he expect an invite. If I haven't hung out with someone for that long I would never expect to be invited to their wedding covid or not. And for him to say you are ranking your friends, well first off you'd love to have all of your friends there however during these times you kind of need to decide who you are closest with when planning a wedding and if that means to some people that you are ranking your friends so be it. Everything is different right now and we have to go through our list we made before covid and have to cut people who aren't really close to us. It is what it is. He sounds like a negative person who doesn't even need an invite to the big party.

Another thing I'd like to add, is that some coworkers of mine said that no matter what when it comes to your wedding there's always going to be someone upset with you. Either because they aren't in the wedding, didn't get an invite etc. They told me to just go ahead and do exactly what I want and forget everyone elses opinion.

I would agree with your colleague. Weddings, even in the most perfect conditions can bring out the very best and sadly the very worst in people (This will be my second wedding). Your friend is naturally disappointed that he can’t spend this important day with you but his delivery isn’t great, fair, or warranted. This is already such a challenging time for couples and we are also experiencing the same disappointment plus stress PLUS navigating other people’s emotions. I, too, have a friend who has iced me out once she realized we were planning a microwedding in 2021. She assumed she wasn’t invited (she was correct) and has given me the silent treatment since. It’s tough but honestly, if that’s the vibe she’s bringing, there’s no place for her on our day.
If this person is important to you, perhaps validating your friend’s feelings by sharing that you understand their disappointment, since you are also equally disappointed! Unfortunately, this was truly not to exclude him but that you were limited in guest count and in light of the health and safety of all loved ones, you had some tough choices to make. I hope that he sees where you are coming from but honestly, if you haven’t seen him in that long to begin with, he’s not worth the added grief right now. Hang in there!