Friendships that grow apart after engagments

Just understand and be prepared that should you decide to not have them participate in your wedding, that’s most likely the end of the friendship. If you’re okay with doing that then go ahead and move on. If not, maybe try talking to them privately?

I can definitely relate. I think you made some fabulous points and have a realistic understanding of what’s going on. My advice would be to communicate all of this with them. Moving forward in different stages in your life doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t care about your friends or that you are leaving them behind (even though that’s what it may look like or make them feel), it simply means that the dynamics of the relationship needs to change to make room for your the new life changes that are important to you. It also means that your friends will need to be understanding and respectful of this as well as supportive. You may lose some friends and some relationships will grow distant but, you shouldn’t feel like you have to choose one relationship over the other. Real friends should have a desire grow with you over time, support you through all of life’s transitions.

View Quoted Comment Beautifully stated and great advice

It sounds like your friends are not ready to grow on & upwards with you. And really, in time, it may be ok. But right now, if you feel like the relationship has become strained & that you aren't getting respect back, then distance yourself. I recently lost a friend ( my close friend) of 10 years due to jealousy with how my life was evolving. It took me awhile to realize 1- these things happen and 2- not everyone will be happy for you, even if you have been there for them for years. Most relationships do change & evolve naturally. When people can't cope with those changes, that's when you see jealousy/ resentment. If your friends are showing that to you, have a frank conversation & see where it takes you. Hopefully they are real friends who do want to grow. If not, embrace the great memories & acknowledge that not everyone is a part of all the chapters in your "life" book. Good luck!

As we grow older we all grow in different directions. Sometimes we just lose touch a bit. My best friend since about 5th grade told me similar things, during the time I was about 19/20 and had a boyfriend who'd I spend most of my time with and she was single at the time so when I would decline she would get kid of mad, fast forward to when she met her now husband and the same things happened she stopped going out as much and only does things with other couples or her in laws or her family. It's all fine and dandy, whenever we see each-other its like we just spoke yesterday and I love her and respect her but we grew apart, now that we're both in healthy committed relationships and we're focusing on that. It sounds like your friends have changed a bit or maybe you have changed a bit too which is fine. Your true friends should support you no matter what and should only tell you something negative if its for your own good (for example if your FH is being manipulative towards you, etc.). Honestly if anyone can't stand to see you happy for your wedding and future life, they don't deserve to be a part of it.

I had the same experience, however it happened before i even got engaged. I had 2 really close friends, one who has been in a relationship with her OH for 9 years and not engaged the other was single. When my FH and i started to get serious about the relationship they started shutting off with me. After a while of my trying to arrange meeting up and not being successful because they where always busy with other stuff i stopped trying, they haven't been in contact with me and vise versa.

The way i saw my situation was that if they can't be happy with me being happy then they don't deserve to be in my life. I know they are close friends but if they are not interested or make it all about them then maybe it's time to let them go. Friends grow apart and maybe this is the point where you need to put your foot down