Frustrated

I totally understand this news is potentially stressful because it might throw some curveballs into what currently looks like a pretty clear plan. I do really get that. We've been through similar abrupt changes in plans many times in our marriage. I have a strong faith, so I tend to take a, "this is all part of a plan and will work out the way it's supposed to" attitude. That might be Pollyanna-ish, but it's made my life easier than worrying about things I can't know or control.

If FH applies for the position, I think it is completely fair that he ask for assurance that if he gets the job it won't impact his planned time off for the wedding, etc. That is very fair! Since it's his boss who encouraged him to apply, I'd guess he's aware of FH's current scheduling needs.

I've worked in HR and we've purchased a few homes, and I agree with pps that it is highly unlikely a promotion is going to create any problems with a potential loan. Assuming the promotion includes a pay raise, it will probably be a big benefit.

Finally, as someone who would love to be able to plan her life out in every detail, I'll encourage you to try not to worry so much about how a promotion might interfere with other possible plans. It might actually have a positive impact, you just never know. It took us 8 years to get pregnant and have our miracle baby. When we started trying, we assumed it would happen quickly, and my "mental timeline" would progress according to MY plan. Clearly, my God had a different plan for us.... In those early years of trying, I was hesitant to plan for job changes, plan for travel, etc. "But, we'll have a newborn by then!" Unfortunately, there were SO many of those milestones that didn't come to fruition, because it took such a loooooong time for us. The good news was while we were working on our parenthood plan, I was promoted twice into awesome positions that I ended up loving. The one I was in when I finally did get pregnant potentially provided us with so many more options in terms of work/family balance -- it would have been a much better position than the one I was in when we first started trying. But, during those 8 years, when we were both moving along in our careers and making more money, we had an opportunity to save a lot (and buy and decorate our first house, travel, etc.). By the time our daughter was born, we were in a position financially that we could decide that I would leave my career entirely for several years to be a full-time parent (if I'd gotten pregnant when we first started trying that wouldn't have been a choice). A few months after daughter was born, we had a chance with husband's employer to move cross country, back to where my extended family lived so that our daughter could grown up near her grandparents, etc. We didn't expect that -- we assumed we'd raise our daughter 3000 miles away! I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes we can think we have everything all planned out, but there might actually be a much different -- and potentially better -- plan in the works. Good luck to you and your husband -- I hope you can find peace in the decisions and choices you have ahead of you!

EDT -- also, FWIW, we've been married 33+ years and every time we've thought we had all our ducks in a row, life's happened.... Honestly, that's going to happen. Like the saying goes, the only constant is change. The more you can embrace it, the easier life is.

I totally get that.... H once changed jobs at what, to me, seemed like the WORST possible time. It involved a pay cut, a change in our benefits, really different hours/schedule. I was terrified it was a TERRIBLE idea, but at the time he was miserable in his job (with a company he'd been with for 25 years...) and it was an exciting offer with some long term potential to be awesome. No matter how sick to my stomach I felt at the time, we've always been a team and always wanted what was best for the other person. Although I had to stuff down some pure panic, I told him to go for it. You know what? It worked out fine -- actually, it worked out great. Was it what I THOUGHT would happen? Not at all.... Again, God was laughing at me -- he had a different and better plan -- I just had a hard time getting out of his way. Have faith whatever happens is a good plan for you & FH!