Hi all!
I’m in need of some guidance/assistance with an issue relating to my future FIL. I apologize for it being long, but I wanted to make sure I covered everything.
Backstory: My FH and I have been engaged for a little over 2 years. A year after being engaged I chose my bridal party, which includes my 4 friends and FH’s cousin’s daughter. FH and his cousin are super close and I wanted to have her in my bridal party, but she did not want to be in the wedding (she hates being the center of attention and has super bad anxiety about it), so I decided to ask her daughter. I’m close with her as well, so we were still super excited nonetheless. About a month after we asked her to be included in the wedding, my future FIL and FH’s cousin got in a huge argument that resulted in the police showing up and they have not spoken since (going on almost a year of not speaking to each other). However, we never once thought we should exclude FH’s cousin and/or her daughter from the wedding. FH and I still talk to his cousin and every time we are in town, we will visit her. I continue doing wedding related things with her daughter and his dad is aware we do see her, so nothing is a secret (or so I thought).
Fast forward to the present: This past weekend the rehearsal dinner and wedding was brought up when we were with the in-laws. Somehow, the argument with the cousin got brought up and my future FIL went on this rant that he does not want the cousin anywhere near him on his son’s wedding day because she will ruin the day for him. We were already planning to sit them as far away across the room from each other at the reception, but I made the mistake of mentioning that we had already invited them to the rehearsal dinner and that FH’s cousin’s daughter was still in the bridal party. He then proceeds to yell at me that he will not pay for them to be at the rehearsal dinner (he’s paying for the rehearsal dinner and my parents are paying for the reception). FH tried to talk to him by promising there will be no drama and we have absolutely no issues with her, but future FIL will not give in and says he wants nothing to do with them. He also told FH when I was in the bathroom later on that I should be more understanding of the family issue. FH defended me saying it was both of our idea to continue including them, but future FIL did not want to hear it.
So here’s my question, has anyone had a similar experience like this and if you did, how did you handle it??? FH and I discussed that if the worst comes to worst we could always just invite cousin’s daughter to the rehearsal dinner if future FIL won’t give in, but I know FH really wants his cousin there. I will never kick out/exclude FH’s cousin’s daughter from the wedding party. Or should we just invite FH’s cousin anyways to the rehearsal dinner and offer to pay for her if future FIL really doesn’t want to? And sit them as far away from each other as possible?
I’m not worried at all about FH’s cousin starting drama or doing anything at the rehearsal/reception. She has promised FH she will not say anything and wants us to just enjoy our wedding day. My future FIL is the one who seems to have the biggest issue and has been notorious in the past for starting things with people when he drinks too much (which will definitely be happening at the wedding).
Thanks in advance!
