On my birthday Christmas Eve my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed! It was perfect my parents, siblings, cousins, and aunt was there even my best friend of 15 years. Well after all of the cheers and screams and compliments calmed down a bit my mother asked me if my fiancé invited his mom. I suddenly had a sinking feeling knowing exactly how sour this would make her. So I rushed to him and he told me she wouldn’t be upset that she wasn’t here for the proposal I immediately knew he was wrong about that call it a women’s intuition! So instead he sends her the proposal video and awaits her excited call. Well, that call nor text never happened. So I called his mom but she didn’t pick up I then send her a text of the ring and she simply said “congrats” the next text was is that your family home in the video my fiancé sent and from that I already knew she was pissed. I told her yes and she said “ok”. So I’m once again going to my new fiancé telling him I think his mother is pissed he once again says no she’s not upset that’s just how she is that she’s not as enthusiastic as my family but I know any mother would be over the moon especially one that’s been asking when he was going to propose over the course of our relationship so she’s invested.
Basically, Christmas Day we go to her home to announce in person and she’s barely saying anything. Didn’t congratulate us. It was just very lack luster Nd filled with awkward silences. It killed my joy to be honest. That’s when I decide to bring up wedding planning and she asks when I was thinking of having the wedding and quickly stopped herself and retracted and said “that is if you’re telling me your plans. I don’t know if you want me to know“ and I said what of course i want you to know, and she says well I don’t know I feel like you both would jus go off Nd get married without telling me. Then my fiancé comes to sit down and I tell him I told you she was upset and he says why would you be upset and she said of course she’s upset and goes on and on.
In my fiancé defense apparently my family wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party because they know I get the birthday blues every year and my fiancé remembered me telling him years ago that the perfect proposal for me would be around friends and family. So he chose the surprised party to propose and didn’t think it would be an issue. Well apparently it is and I feel like I’m getting all this attitude when I didn’t know I was getting proposed to. It’s been 6 days since we’ve been engaged and she hasn’t reached out to us after we saw her on Christmas. I even started a argument with him about him not invited his mom to the proposal which just made him feel bad because he worked so hard to make the day special and felt like his efforts were now washed away which I immediately apologized for because I loved everything he did.
Idk what to do. Do I give her more time to come around? I initially was going to call her and apologize on my fiancé’s behalf and tell her if I had known she would have been invited of course. But then my beat friend told me that as much as an apology would fix things it would show a divide between my fiancé and I. That it would make him feel like I wasn’t a unit with him but instead always siding with his mom (which I usually do because I crave her approval so much) my friend said I should stand by him and what he chose to do to make the proposal perfect in his eyes. I know that his mom would badmouth him to me if I call her and I don’t want to be in that situation. It’s just really bothering me that she doesn’t care and I hate that I care that she doesn’t. I guess I’m just looking for advice and words of comfort. I’m only 6 days engaged and so sad over this.
sorry for the long post
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