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Beginner May 2018

Future mil is pushy

Veronica , on March 19, 2018 at 2:45 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3
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Hello everyone, I’m looking for advice! My future mother in law is driving me crazy. She wants everything done her way even though me and my fiancé are paying for 90% of the wedding. She recently showed me the song she picked for the mother/son dance and i found myself being offended. Throughout the song there’s lyrics like “i will never put no one above my mama, not even my girl” “there is no one like my mama, no one will take her place and my girl must understand my mom is my First Lady” something among those lines. I don’t wanna sound dramatic I get it that’s his mom and all but I just feel weird having that played at my wedding. I told my fiancé about this but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and he doesn’t want to upset his mom because “she’s used to getting her way” what should I do? I’m a pushover I don’t wanna say no to her especially because that’s their moment but i also don’t want to feel offended on MY day

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Latest activity by Rachel, on March 19, 2018 at 3:35 PM
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
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    Meh. I'd probably roll my eyes but get over it and let her have the song, but put your foot down and not let her push you around on the other things. Then she "gets her way" on what matters most to her, but you get to be left alone to plan everything else your way.

    I would also have a talk with your FH though, about how you see the relationship with the three of you going forward in the future...

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  • S
    Beginner June 2018
    Sarah ·
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    I have a troublesome MIL and it has recently been rough. The song is weird and would bother me too. I'm not sure if I would say no about it though. However if it is a battle worth fighting in your eyes then by all means it is your day and you are entitled to the final opinion! This planning process is setting the precedent for the future so you and your FH need to get on the same page about expectations and how to handle her. I have found the more me and (her baby) are on the same page and showing her that we are in this together the more she backs off. She clearly wants to show you that he is still on her side and he needs to show her otherwise. Good Luck! I'm fighting this battle right along side you!

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  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I mean i have no idea if anyone in your family is religious at all so I definitely don’t want to offend or make anyone uncomfortable, but if your families are religious..... it says right in the bible to put your wife above your mother.... I was raised traditionally and so I can say that this song would bother me to the point where I would put my foot down on it. I’ve personally seen relationships destroyed by this sort of mindset. Just my personal experience, though. I would be very uncomfortable (honestly, to the point of becoming a bridezilla, which is my own personal problem) with having this song played at my wedding.
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