Hi everyone!
So my fiancé and I just started wedding planning a week ago. We started looking at venues first and already found one we love. We live in Hawaii but are planning on moving back to Virginia soon and having our wedding there. Because we aren’t able to tour venues in person, my sister offered to go see this one venue for us with my mom. My mom and I were talking and thought it would be a nice idea to invite my fiancé’s mother to join them on the tour.
A little back story: my fiancé and I moved to Hawaii only two months into dating (we were best friends first) and have been here for the past 7 years. In those 7 years I have seen his parents twice. My fiancé doesn’t call/talk to his mom much so the only relationship I have with her is when we FaceTime on holidays. So basically, I asked my fiancé for her number and texted her for the the first time asking if she would like to join my mom and sister on the venue tour. Over an hour later and no response back, she calls my fiancé sobbing saying “does she even know my name?! Why didn’t she say it in her text? I’m not going!” And hangs up. (My text started off with, “Hi! It’s ____”) After the complete shock on my end, thinking I was doing something nice, I didn’t know how to respond. My fiancé decided to ask his brother for advice on how we should respond and he gets all heated saying to my fiancé, “you’re planning your wedding and you didn’t CALL her?!?” With technology being what it is these days I didn’t see anything wrong with this form of communication as this is primarily how I keep in contact with my own family. I do see their side and respect their feelings, however my fiancé’s brother then went on a 20min rant about how they don’t even know me, how I’m not marrying into their family but my fiancé’s marrying into mine, brought up how his ex at least made an attempt to get to know their mom and I haven’t (again, I live across the country and my fiancé doesn’t even talk to his mom much), and a bunch of other misconceptions they have about me that clearly aren’t true. I had my fiancé call his mom back to clear up those misconceptions of me not wanting to spend time with them (it was my fiancé who didn’t want to) and she’s managed to make this whole situation all about her. My fiancé got her to agree to go see the venue but has demanded that my mom/sister call her when they’re on their way to the venue and again when they arrive. Because she “doesn’t like texts”.
My question for you guys is what are your thoughts on this whole situation? Am I in the wrong or is she?
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