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R
Just Said Yes November 2019

Future mother in law getting married same year as i am?

Rebeca, on July 24, 2018 at 2:45 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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Hello everyone, my future mother in law has been engaged for over 8 years, and she is just now planning to get married in close proximity to my wedding. I'm not exactly sure how to feel about this. My fiance and I have told her that we were to be married in November 2019, and she is planning her wedding for the Fall of 2019. Both she and her fiance have good careers, she's an insurance agent and he is a nurse, so finances is not a issue for them having such a lengthy engagement. Whereas my fiance and I are in our final year of school, we will both be graduating this upcoming semester. I know that I should be happy for them, but I can't help but question as to why now? Seriously after 8 years of being engaged, now you are going to get married? Also, her fiance has been wearing a wedding band for the past 5 years, so wouldn't that take away from their wedding ceremony? Maybe I am just overreacting, but how would you go about this situation?
Thanks for letting me rant/vent. Very much appreciated. -Becks

12 Comments

Latest activity by MrsV1027, on July 25, 2018 at 8:07 AM
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2018
    Jessica ·
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    Yes, youre overreacting.
    You get one day, they get one day.
    The wedding band has nothing to do with it. I wear running shoes every day for comfort, it doesnt mean Im a runner.
    For all its worth, two weddings mean two cakes ☺
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  • Nicole
    Expert September 2018
    Nicole ·
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    Sorry, but you only get one day. Unless she plans her wedding on the same day as yours you don't really have a leg to stand on. There could be a thousand reasons why they've chosen to move forward, and they aren't really your business.

    And no, her FH wearing a wedding band doesn't take anything away from their marriage. Maybe he just wanted to show his commitment to her. You are taking that to an extremely petty level.

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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    I see that its annoying but it's not worth any stress or thought over it. As long as it's not the same weekend, I wouldn't worry about it.
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  • M&M Bride
    Super September 2018
    M&M Bride ·
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    Congratulations on your upcoming graduation and wedding! Such an exciting time! I don't think there is anything you can do about your FMIL and her fiance wanting to get married around the same day as you. We all get one day, and we can't expect our loved ones to put a hold on their lives. Maybe they saw how exciting it was to see you both planning your wedding and they wanted to start planning too. Be happy for them and keep planning for your November 2019 wedding. How are the plans coming so far?

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  • AJ
    VIP September 2018
    AJ ·
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    My FH and I have been engaged for almost two years...within that time, his mother has gotten engaged AND married. They got married just over 2 months before we are getting married. And...

    ...it is no big deal!!! The world doesn't stop just because we are engaged; everyone still has their own lives and timelines, and their right to celebrate their love.
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  • Little Star
    Expert April 2019
    Little Star ·
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    As long as they aren’t planning on getting married the same day as you, it will be okay. I can understand why you might be a little annoyed, but as PP have said there’s not much you can do. I would take this as an opportunity to bond with your FMIL...you guys can talk to each other about wedding planning which most other people you will find don’t care about.
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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    Yes, you are overreacting. How does their getting married affect you/your FH at all? Congratulate them, enjoy their wedding and move on. No, his wearing a wedding band does not change anything or take away from their ceremony. He likely has been wearing it as a sign of his love and commitment, there is nothing wrong with wanting to officially recognize that now. I assume she (and you) wear an engagement ring so, why would it be any different simply because he is a man?

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Yes, you are overreacting.


    Not sure how wearing a ring devalues him getting married? You just sound jealous/resentful and for your own sake, you should be like Elsa and let it go.

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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    As PPs have said, I wouldn't let this bother you. Unless they choose the same day as you to get married, it's not going to take away the specialness of day with your FH. As far as the ring goes, my FH wears an engagement ring (men's wedding band) upon his request. He enjoys having that physical reminder of our commitment to each other. It's not going to take away from the wedding band he'll wear on the day we get married. To each his (or her) own on that front.

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  • Dallas
    Savvy October 2019
    Dallas ·
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    I dont necessarily agree with others here. They say "Fall 2019", why no set date? If they pick a date within a month of you I could see that being an issue for family on their side if they have a lot of out-of-towners. THAT's when I'd get worried, because that'd make people have to choose which wedding they're going to prioritize. However if they choose early september and you choose middle/late november then you should be fine.

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  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
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    I see where you would be irked, but it’s really no big deal. My mom is probably going to be engaged soon and that’s not taking away from my wedding. They may have been discussing this for a while, and have finally settled on a time that just so happens to be close to your day. Congratulate them and move on.
    And my FH wears 2 bands on his ring finger, he likes to show that he is committed, but that is not gonna take away from the ring I give him when we get married. Those are his promise rings and he wears them with pride.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    You nailed it on the head. You are overreacting. Maybe your wedding motivated them to finally get it done but they aren't stealing your wedding. You don't own the year. Relax and enjoy your own wedding planning.

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