Future mother in Law making things hard

I'm so sorry you have to go through this just now. I agree with Kimberly and Veronica - talk seriously and frankly to your fiance about this, without being disrespectful to his mother. Surely he must have noticed his mother's reactions and actions by now. I'm not sure if this will work but: if he won't do something, let him know you will. Take FMIL aside quietly at some point, take her to lunch perhaps (a public place will prevent a scene) , and tell her gently but firmly: you do not intend to separate FH from his mother, unless she forces this issue. This day IS about you and your fiance, NOT about her, whatsoever! She is NOT to invite more of her friends, period and if she does, they will be turned away - the the venue and their security on board with this. She doesn't have to like you but you intend to make her son happy. If she's not on board with that, she will find out in the future (don't threaten her) that he, you, and the family you have together will not be available to her. Note: and I'm not saying you will need to do this, but, my son's MIL was a troublemaker from day one - to the whole family, not just them, and she's also an alcoholic. My son is LEO. After their 1st child was born she was so bad he had to get a court order, and his wife was ok with it as she has the same problems with her mom, to keep her away from them. I truly hope your fiance can get control of this situation before the wedding. It sounds like he will have to put his foot down. Good luck and best wishes!

Hey!

Stories like this grind my gears because I would never understand the emotional incest that goes on between mothers and their sons. Our story is very similar. It took about 2 years for my MIL to lay low and I've been with my fiancé for almost 6 years (7 more days). My fiancé has always had my back and I had to put my foot down as well. She didn't stop until I started not inviting her to things. My fiancé and I are also very private so it feels good that she does not know anything about our life. She feels left out now but guess what, I will always have the last laugh. Its crazy because My fiancé and I have forgave her for everything but after so much disrespect (and the stories I could tell you would make you cry, that's how bad they are), we don't care to have a relationship anymore with her. A lot of things feel forced when she do try and be nice but we're over it at this point. That's what yall need to do. I'm being real, its not going to get better especially if shes a narcissist or don't apologize. Yall will become part of the problem if yall stay around someone like that because shes going to think that people are going to continue to accept her crude behavior. I pray yall can figure it out but if she has the mentality that she wasn't going to like you before even meeting you, she has some serious issues that no one can fix but herself, which is not your respondsibility to do.

At the very least you need couples counseling.

I agree with this.

OP, you're all adults here. Confront MIL about her slander. Confront your FS about this normalized dysfunction. If nothing changes and you join this family, you are agreeing to a future of emotional abuse even if she's not in your home. If MIL is hosting this wedding, cancel and wait until you and your FS are a team. If you are already the hosts, and she's throwing tantrums, threaten to disinvite her and hire security to assist your Coordinator. Your wedding should be filled with people who respect you and your union.

I totally agree!

I suggest hiring some kind of security so her friends can't access your wedding. This is drastic, but you might also consider going low contact with FMIL.