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Just Said Yes October 2018

Future mother in law paid for ring but fiancé allegedly paid her back...weird or no?

Pineapple2019, on May 19, 2018 at 1:12 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

So I just found out that my future mother in law technically paid for my engagement ring. My fiancé apparently didn't have credit so his mom paid the deposit on the ring. My fiancé tells me he just finished paying her back (almost 2 years ago since he put the ring on layaway) I thought this was weird and I feel like my mother in law bought the ring. I cant stand my future mother in law so when I look at my ring I just feel anger. Has anyones fiancé taken a loan(I guess?) from their parents to pay for your engagement ring?

9 Comments

Latest activity by OrangeCrush, on May 21, 2018 at 10:47 AM
  • J
    Expert September 2013
    Jay ·
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    Hi Brittany, Welcome to WeddingWire!

    Sometimes guys have to " get the $$$ together", you know what I mean? Smiley smile

    The fact that he had it on lay away and borrowed from his mom for so long means 3 things:

    1) He's wanted to marry for at least that long

    2) He knew that ring was perfect for you

    3) His mother supported him getting you this ring.

    Now that he has paid it off with his own $$, your FMIL is out of the equation- you can look down at it again and look forward to October!

    Have you picked a venue ? Take a look at our Wedding Checklist to see if there is anything you are missing.

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  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
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    This didn't happen in my case but as long as your fiancé paid her back, I wouldn't worry about it at all. Technically your fiancé paid for the ring, not her!

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  • E
    Super June 2018
    Erica ·
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    Agree with people, it's was his money going to the ring!
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  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
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    I would not worry about it - he paid for the ring. I would soften your stance on you future MIL - she was gracious to buy the ring and allow him to pay her back. If she could not stand you, she would have told him no way buy your own ring.

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  • P
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Pineapple2019 ·
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    You don’t think it’s strange it took him almost 4 years to pay his mom back for the ring? Apparently she wasn’t even asking for payments until I pissed her off. The ring wasn’t even that expensive, he could’ve bought it himself but his parents can’t ever tell him no.
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  • GoodMOB
    April 2018
    GoodMOB ·
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    OK, Brittany, this is sounding different than the original post. This sounds like there are issues going on, that have nothing to do with the ring per se. And some of those issues might need to be worked through with counseling before entering into this marriage.

    1. If fiance could have bought it himself, why didn't he? (weird dynamic with parents)

    2. If you "piss off" mother-in-law, and then there is a financial cost, that is an unhealthy sign, too.

    3. Why would it take him 4 years to pay back his mom, if he could have afforded it himself in the first place?

    These issues send up red flags for me about potential conflicts for this marriage.

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  • P
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Pineapple2019 ·
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    It’s a weird situation. Also I pissed her off by standing up for what I wanted for my wedding. She’s toxic and has a poor me attitude. When I ask my fiancé why he couldn’t come up with the deposit he just says his credit wasn’t good enough. The deposit for the ring was $400 which he could’ve easily saved.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    I would let it go. He paid her back. Clearly she wanted to help out. There's clearly more going on with your FIL dynamic that maybe you should talk to FH about.

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  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
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    Yes, there are more details being shared now that sound like nothing to do with your ring. Now she is toxic. To be blunt: I am in my early 50's and I have seen up close up and personal way too many stories that sound like yours: adversarial relationship between DIL and MIL when clear communication is key. It sets up early and can last for years. Get some professional help to get stuff cleared up now.....as one PP said: Lots of red flags here. The poor credit rating would worry me too

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