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Dedicated August 2019

Future sil is Engaged Too

Abigail, on January 15, 2018 at 7:54 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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Do my future sister in-law and I were talking before either of us were engaged and I said I'd love to have my wedding may 2019 when I graduate college because we are choosing not to live with one another until we are married to save costs and so I can focus on school. A month or two later my FSIL got engaged, which I was super happy about. She then tells us she's getting married may 2019. At this time I was not engaged so I didn't say anything. Then, after it was official I explained that we want to get married sometime summer 2019, like late August, so it wasnt too close to their wedding and they could still have time to shine themselves. She then told me that she doesn't even want our wedding in the same SUMMER as hers. I have no idea how to handle this, my FH is no help, and I'm having to run ALL my ideas and plans by her to make sure they're not the same. But we are having totally different style weddings and I'm confused on how to even approach this. I want to be respectful of their day and support them but I also want our day to be special. Help please!

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Latest activity by Abigail, on January 17, 2018 at 9:10 AM

Savvy June 2018
Corinna · on January 15, 2018 at 11:48 PM
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I had a similar situation. My FH and I lived together already and I had told him before I met his brother or SIL that I wanted to get married. Her and FH brother were together for 8 years and not engaged and I didn't think it was a big deal. FH basically said "I'm proposing soon, just a heads up" and they got engaged before us but were mad that my FH proposed 4 MONTHS LATER, even after he talked with them about it. Said it was too close to theirs.

Long story short, set your date and pick your stuff regardless of their selfishness. They can't dibs an entire year or season, that's ridiculous. It honestly worked out well for us and my SIL and my relationship has actually improved.
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Dedicated August 2019
Abigail · on January 15, 2018 at 11:51 PM
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Thank you! We haven't been together as long as them either and I think she also is trying to hint that ours isn't as important because I didn't have to wait as long. I'm glad someone else is in the same boat as me. Thanks for the advice!
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Savvy June 2018
Corinna · on January 16, 2018 at 11:46 AM
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It might be emotionally tough sometimes, but like I said, our relationship has grown a lot because I just didn't let their life choices affect mine and told her once at dinner "honestly, if you think I'm doing things out of spite, I'm not. I'm just living my life on the timeline that works for us" and they broke down some HUUGGEE walls.

Good luck on it all!! And congratulations on your engagement!!
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Devoted June 2019
Laurel · on January 17, 2018 at 8:58 AM
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Will family have to travel to get to the weddings? If not, I see no reason why both wedding can’t be close together. You have a very valid reason for wanting to get married in May, but if you’re willing to wait until August then that seems like plenty long between the weddings. Rather than running all of your ideas past her, just don’t discuss them with her. If you had your heart set on blue and silver for your wedding colors, would you have to give them up because she also wants them but got engaged a little before you?
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Dedicated August 2019
Abigail · on January 17, 2018 at 9:10 AM
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Some of his family will travel, however, they said that it was okay with the gap may to August. Since it's so far in advance, they said they'll have time to save and such. And I get what you're saying, I'll just keep going with my thoughts and ideas. Thanks!
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Future sil is Engaged Too

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